别说欧式中文!
引入
你有没有觉得自己写文章时想要高级却累赘又难懂,看他人的文章时,尤其是翻译后的技术文章,难以理解.想想你是不是困于欧式中文,能不能让一句话既符合主谓宾顺序又精炼简洁.欧洲语言严重影响了现在汉语/中文,常见于奇怪语法和冗余。可能你不以为意,但欧式中文已经过度改变了中文,能说简练中文的寥寥无几。你很可能不懂中文,例如:
例子:我是一名教师。
改正:我是教师。
原因:欧洲语言,例如英文,才会强调数量。中文讲究简练,“一名”便是废话。
例子:所有的士兵们都已整装待发。
改正:士兵都已整装待发。
更简洁的:士兵整装待发。
原因:中文不强调单复数和时态。
例子:不排除有玻璃掉落的可能性。
改正:有可能掉落玻璃。
原因:使用抽象名词“可能性”,“玻璃掉落”是宾动结构,不符合语法。
例子:有被笑到。
改正:好笑/笑了。
原因:中文就没这么奇怪的语法。
例子:对于这件事,他们尚未作出决定。
改正:他们尚未决定此事。
原因:“对于...”、“作出”是废话。改为主谓宾的格式更符合中文思维
例子:当人们说起文化,我们总会联想的艺术和历史。
改正:文化总让人想到艺术和历史
原因:“当人们”多余,
例子:他们争吵了一宿,最后还是男方作出让步。
改正:他们争吵了一宿,最后还是男方让步。
改正:他们争吵了一宿,最后男方让步。
改正:他们争吵了一宿,男方让步。
改正:争吵了一宿,男方让步。
改正:争吵一宿,男方让步。
附:有多种改法,改到最简有可能丢失信息。若要突出男方很多次让步,则不用省略“还是”。
例子:我们应该加快经济改革的步伐。
改正:我们应该加快经济改革。
改正:我们应该加快改革经济。
改正:加快改革经济。
解释:去掉多余的抽象词“的步伐”,改为主谓宾结构,合理省略。
在IDEA看到的
例子:索引编制暂停。
改正:暂停编制索引。
即使是专业领域也应该符合中文语法。
中文指导
- 去除不影响句意的部分(数量,时态,介词)
- 尽可能少用抽象词
- 使用主谓宾结构
- 合理省略
英文指导
类型 | 例句 | 简化句 | 总结 |
---|---|---|---|
A.语素重叠造成的累赘 | There have been good harvests in agriculture. | There have been good harvests. | 我讨厌数学这门学科 vs 我讨厌数学。 数学就是一门学科,无需赘述。 辨别方式是看句子的主要名词究竟需不需要额外的名词定语来限定。 还有一些例如时间状语, in the past / future, 已经可以从时态得知,那就是多余的。 |
These hardships are temporary in nature. | These hardships are temporary. | ||
a serious mistake in the work of planning | a serious mistake in planning. | ||
When we were studying Chinese poetry in the past, we were young and naive. | When we were studying Chinese poetry, we were young and naive. | ||
B.动词抽象名词化 | We must make an improvement in our work.> | We must improve our work. | 本是动词,靠着后缀变成名词(甚至有直接也有名词词性的,什么都不加),再配一个虚空动词(见表2)。 辨别方式是看句子的谓语动词到底是不是句子真正表达的动作,然后再思考能否把动词替换成真实的动作。 |
They should conduct a careful examination of... | They should carefully examine... | ||
to bring about a change in the situation | to change the situation | ||
until China realizes industrial modernization. | until China modernizes its industry | ||
C.形容词或副词抽象化 | A man with a sense of masculinity showed up. | A masculine man showed up. | 有着坚强品质的人 vs 坚强的人 辨别方式,找寻“ness湖水怪”(ness后缀,ity后缀的词)。 简化为实际的形容词和副词后,一并可以丢弃多余的“a 品质 of”。 或者将 ness 后缀词尽量修改为更常见的名词,如本类最后一例. |
A story which contains wholesomeness made us cry. | A wholesome story made us cry. | ||
Our hero possesses the characteristics of effectiveness. | Our hero is effective. | ||
It's never a good thing to develop a habit of impetuousness. | It's never a good thing to develop a impetuous habit. | ||
They showed a lot of eagerness to join. | A. They were eager to join. B. They showed a lot of enthusiasm to join. |
||
D.工作英语啰嗦大全 | It is especially necessary to make great effort to study their failure. | It is especially necessary to study their failure. | 见表2“工作英语废话”列. 当出现 to ... to 的时候,就要小心是不是写了一句工作英语的废话。 句子里已经有一个词凸显了“着重感”时,其他的用词就尽量朴素。 特别常见的是已经写了 must 一词后,后面就不用再跟着 try our best to... 之类的话了。 |
The principal task at hand is to do a good job at applying the results. | The principal task at hand is to apply the results. | ||
E. 综合简化案例 | the Army must work hard to find solution to the problem of raising work efficiency. | the Army must increase efficiency. | 15个词简化成5个词。 有 must 就不用 work hard 了; find solution to the problem of ... 其实全是冗余,关键还是找到真正的动作,用实义动词替换之。 |
We should take effective measures to implement the strategy of invigorating agriculture by applying scientific and technological advances. | We should invigorate agriculture by applying scientific and technological advances. | take effective measures to implement the strategy of 先是工作英语废话,再是动词抽象化,一连8个词没有提供任何新信息,直接剔除。 |
|
the national economic strength experienced an increase of extreme rapidness during this period. | the national economy grew most rapidly during this period. | economic strength -> economy experienced an increase of extreme rapidness 架空名词和 ness 湖水怪同时出现,直接削成动词+副词。 |
虚空动词(词组)集合 | 工作英语废话 |
---|---|
这些动词虽有实义(比如make的实义是制作),但经常以架空的含义出现在写作中,此时就要小心观察句子的真正动作是什么,以精炼句子。 | 工作报告中常见的废话。一篇文章用一两个无伤大雅。用多了就会腐蚀中心思想,不仅读起来费力,还会在真正需要“重点强调”的时候,失去力量。 |
make | make great efforts to |
have | make every effort to |
provide | try our best to |
carry out | do our utmost to |
conduct | do everything possible to |
engage in | strive to |
achieve | work hard to |
realize | pay attention to |
exercise | pay heed to |
register | see to it that |
accomplish | lay stress on |
implement | put emphasis on |
bring about | do a good job in |
reach | achieve success in |
use | do successful work in |
take | necessary to ensure |
ensure | |
strive toward | |
follow |
推荐
- 余光中《翻译乃大道》《论中文之西化》《中文的常态与变态》《论的的不休》《从西而不化到西而化之》
- 金圣华《“活水"还是"泥沼”?——译文体对现代中文的影响》
- Wikipedia 欧化中文Westernised Chinese language
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