第七章：清楚简洁的英文 --《英语科技写作（文法与修辞原则）》by 方克涛

1. 在英文写作中，最好的方法是效仿英文为母语的写作者。

2. 资深的英文写作者，都喜欢直接而间接的写作方式。在中文写作中，作者有时候会假定读者已经知道主语是谁而将其省略，而英文中主语是必须有的，不能省略。

 

7.1 句子的意思要特定、清楚

bad ex：Our method is better than Smith's method.

good ex：our method is more accurate than Simth's method and nearly twice as fast.

 

bad ex：The proposed algorithm performs better than Chen's algorithm.

good ex：The proposed algorithm is more efficient than Chen's algorithm.

 

bad ex: We have also consider the phenomenon of the fringe effect.

good ex: We must also consider the fringe effect.

 

bad ex:The proposed algorithm is very simple in design and is quite fast and somewhat easier to program than previous methods.

good ex:The proposed algorithm is simple, fast and easier than previous methods.

 

4. 去除多余动词

bad ex: The final estimates are summarized and listed in Table 8.

good ex: The final estimates are listed in Table 8.

 

bad ex: The generating function for node x is given and derived as follows.

good ex:The generating function for node x could be derived as follows.

 

5. 去除多余代名词

bad ex: The flame that is produced by this fuel is extremely unusual.

good ex: The flame produced by this fuel is extremely unusual.

wrong ex: The flame that produced by this fuel is extremely unusual. (要嘛一起留，要嘛一起删除)

 

bad ex:The professor who is teaching the course this year is very knowledgeable.

good ex:The professor teaching the course this year is very knowledgeable.

 

7.2 不必要的应该省略

bad ex: we must also consider the phenomenon of the fringe effect (边缘效应).

good ex: we must also consider the fringe effect.

 

bad ex: basically, the process can be divided into two parts.

good ex: the process can be divided into two parts.

如果作者的意思是要强调basically的话，则应该将basic放在part的前面进行修饰：

good ex: the process can be divided into two basic parts.

我常犯的错误：

（1） 一直认为中间加一个宾语，然后后面用短语结构（比如of，with引导的短语）能使句子更清晰，是错误的想法。

（2） 一直认为中间用过副词过渡会显得更地道，其实是错误的。

 

bad ex: the proposed algorithm is very simple in design and is quite fast and somewhat easier to program than previous methods.

good ex: the proposed algorithm is simple and fast and easier to program than previous methods.

 

bad ex: it is the aim of the research in this paper to propose and justify recommended modifications to the cnventional method so as to enhance and strengthen the performance and effeciveness of online control systems.

good ex: the aim of this paper is to modify the conventional method so as to enhance the effectiveness of on-line control systems.

注意：使用最直接能够表达出意思的动词，最直接最清楚的表达出意思，少绕来绕去，造成句子太长，让读者晕掉，最终词不达意。

 

bad ex: the final estimates are summarized and listed in table 8.

good ex: the final estimates are listed in table 8.

注：一个动词就已经足够表达句子的意思了，何必用两个动词呢？

 

bad ex: the flame that is produced by this fuel is extremely unusual.

good ex: the flame produced by this fuel is extremely unusual.

注：省略 that is，这种类型的主语从句，引导词和其相应的系动词可以一起省略，但是不能只省略其中之一。

 

7.3 句子的意思要直接 

用直接、率直的方法叙述句子的重点，而不要让读者迂回的解读。

bad ex: in this paper, we concentrate our efforts on these issues.

good ex: in this paper, we investigate these issues.

 

bad ex: in this paper, we will try to propose a new method to solve this problem.

good ex:in this paper, we will propose a new method to solve this problem.

注：删除 try to，常犯错误

 

bad ex: in this section, we will focus on investigating the relationship between these parameters.

good ex: in this section, we will investigate the relationship between these parameters.

注：删除 focus on，常犯错误

避免画蛇添足，认为加了这些词能够强调重点，其实都是多余。

 

7.4 避免塞满名词的句子以及弱动词

7.4.1 塞满名词

bad ex: this method has the advantage of accuracy but the disadvantage of slowness.

good ex: the method is accurate but slow.

注：塞满了名词，其实用几个形容词就能代替，可能这里想强调的是优缺点，但其实用相应的形容词是优点还是缺点，读者已经明白。

 

bad ex: the problem is caused by the lack of consideration of the effect of the bandwidth gain that results from the termination request.

revised ex: the problem is caused because we failed to consider the effect of the bandwidth gain resulting from the termination request.

good ex: the problem is caused because we neglected the effect of the bandwidth gain resulting from the termination request.

 

7.4.2 弱动词

bad ex: the calculation of this parameter can be performed using Lee's algorithm.

good ex: the parameter can be calculated using Lee's algorithm.

accurate ex: the value of parameter can be calculated using Lee's algorithm.

注： perform这种动词无法最直接的表达出动作，parameter是被计算，直接用计算这个动词最直接的表达，无需将其变成名词，然后在用其他的弱动词。

 

bad ex: they reached the conclusion that a disruptive approach is more effective.

good ex: they concluded that a disruptive approach is more effective.

注：原来的句子可能作者会觉得比较地道，实则不然。

 

7.5 多使用主动语态

经验丰富的科技论文作者写文章时，大都使用主动语态，相对于被动语态，主动语态显得更直接有力，是文章变得更直截了当。

bad ex: the test subjects were shown by the experimental results to prefer sweet foods.

good ex: the experimental results showed that the test subjects preferred sweet foods.

 

7.6 尽量用肯定的说法

bad ex: this technique does not produce good result.

good ex: this technique produce poor/unsatisfactory result.

 

7.7 必要时才用虚主语结构

如果把另外一个词摆在句首，就可以造出比较清晰，间接的句子，那就应该避免以 it is / there be 开头的句子。

7.7.1 避免there be

bad ex: there are several methods that have been proposed for selecting the fittest individuals.

good ex: several methods have been proposed for selecting the fittest individuals.

注：中枪了，there be句型少用！！！

 

7.7.2 避免it should be ...，用祈使句代替，避免句子太冗长。

bad ex: it should also be noted that...

good ex: note that...

 

bad ex: it can be observed that...

good ex: observe that...

 

7.8 科技论文中的第一人称复数代名词的用法

如果用第一人称复数we可以写出比较清楚、间接的句子，就大胆采用。

有些作者不太敢使用第一人称we，因为担心这样会让人觉得主观，不符合科技论文的客观原则，这是个理解的误区。用第一人称，对于报告内容客观与否，毫无影响。

bad ex: the proposed method requires to be shown to be more accurate than the conventional one.

good ex: we need to show that the proposed method is more accurate than the conventional one.

 

但有时候we这一类型的第一人称不是必须的，比如：

ex1: from the graph, we observe that the value of x increases sharply after time t.

ex2: the graph shows that the value of x increases sharply after time t.

不过有点感觉是下头这个稍微好点。

 

7.9 避免不必要的术语

谨记使用专业术语的目的是希望用比较简短、直接的方式来表达日常语言无法简介表达的观念。但要避免使用不必要的专业术语，当用日常用语就能够很简介的表达清楚的话。

 

7.10 避免直接疑问句

在英语科技写作中，当作者需要提出问题或者新的课题时，通常都是使用直属局或者间接疑问句，而不是使用直接疑问句。

bad ex: an important question is, "why do we need normalization?" this question will be addressed in the next section.

good ex: the next section will explain why normalization is needed.