该分手的八大征兆

 

该分手的八大征兆

 

 

Relationships are important – to each other, to our families, to our friends, to the people we care about. There comes a point in romantic relationships when things become serious and it becomes an actual Relationship, one where the idea of spending your life with this person and crafting your life together is a valid and understandable continuation of this relationship. When that isn’t achieved, the question becomes, ‘why not?’
人际关系是很重要的–不论是两人之间，还是对家人、朋友以及我们所关心的人。彼此，我们的家庭，我们的朋友，我们所关心的人。当一段恋爱关系涉及的问题开始严肃起来，并日益现实的时候，这段感情就变成了实际关系，此时的情侣认为与另一半共度余生是顺理成章的结果。如若不然，情侣则需要考虑为什么不会这样。

Ending a relationship is no easier with age and experience, but sometimes we become so caught in patterns and schedules, the comfortable grooves of our lives, something as disruptive and jarring as ending a relationship can seem too much effort and fuss, even when we’re not at all happy. If you’re feeling as if you’re stuck in this place, searching for signs as to whether or not to break up, check out the list of go-to signs we’ve compiled for when it’s time to bite the bullet and end the relationship.
结束一段感情并不会随着年龄的增长和经验而变得容易，但有时候我们束缚于繁文缛节和时间安排，习惯于生活的舒适保护，已经没有精力和心情去承受结束感情这种有破坏性的，不和谐的事情，即使我们根本不开心。如果你被这种局面困扰，正在寻找如何处理一段感情的征兆，请看看我们为您整理出的是时候痛下决心断绝关系的征兆单吧。

1. You don’t trust each other any more.
彼此不再信任

Trust is one of the most important parts of any relationship and when you lose that, it’s almost certainly time to end the relationship. The signs your relationship has gone through this is simple – you find yourself questioning the other person’s motives, abilities and reasons all the time. Everything from why she’s acting so nice to you, to how much you trust her to take something that is important to you and respect it.
信任在任何关系中都是一个重要的部分，如果失去了信任，那几乎可以肯定是时候结束这段关系了。感情到达这一步的征兆很简单-你会一直质疑另一个人的动机、能力和理由。你会怀疑她为什么对你这么好，不知道是否可以让她拿走你看重的东西，也不确定她是否能尊重这些东西。
If there’s mutual distrust on either side, it can lead to absolute crumbling of the relationship and the foundations it was built on, causing jealousy, anger, possessiveness and other negative feelings to leak free and poison the already tenuous relationship. Hitting this point is very hard to come back from and one of the reasons it might be right to end the relationship.
如果双方都不信任，则会导致这段关系及感情基础的彻底破裂，导致猜忌、愤怒、占有欲和其他负面情绪爆发，给已经脆弱不堪的关系雪上加霜。一段感情如果发展到了这个地步就很难回头，这也许是应该分手的理由之一。

2. You realize you have different values.
价值观不同

We all have our own values that are important to us – security, freedom, a conservative family, a liberal family, an open marriage. Whatever your values are, that’s fine, but when they begin to rub uncomfortably against your significant other, it might be an early warning sign all is not right in paradise and it might be time to end the relationship.
我们都有自己的价值观，而且对我们很重要–如安全、自由、保守的家庭、自由的家庭，开放的婚姻。无论你有什么样的价值观，当它开始导致你和另一半之间产生不愉快的摩擦时，这可能是一个早期预警，预示着即使在天堂也没有完美组合，可能是结束关系的时候了。

Every relationship has a process of compromise, negotiation and assimilation of your partner’s values into your life, but sometimes values are too distinct and different to ever be reconciled without a drastic compromise that will likely cause a rift as one of you struggles against what you really want and what you’ve decided you must become in order to fulfill the other person’s needs.
If this is a serious problem in your relationship, it’s best for both parties to end the relationship and move on.
每段感情都有一个妥协、谈判和将对方的价值观融入你的生活的过程，但有时价值观差异过大，只有经过巨大妥协才能共处，这可能会导致裂缝，因为你需要做出抗争，在你真正想要的和你已经决定必须改变自己来满足对方需要的之间做出妥协。如果这在你们的感情中已经是一个严重的问题，那双方最好还是结束关系，各自往前走。

3. You no longer make plans with him or her in mind.
你做计划时不再考虑他/她

This one ties deeply into the idea if you’ve slowly been pushing your significant other out of your life psychologically, it’s time to actually remove them. We all make plans for the future, even if they only go so far as the next few weeks or month or so, and your significant other should always be considered as a part of them, even if the plans don’t directly involve him or her.
这个征兆与你的一种想法紧密相连，那就是你慢慢地开始有意将另一半从你的生活中推开，这时候你需要取消这些计划。我们都在为未来做计划，如下周、下个月或更久的时间，而你的另一半应该永远都在计划之列，即使这些计划与他/她并无直接关系。

No longer making plans with your partner in mind is one of the major signs it’s time to end the relationship – if you’re not making plans with your significant other in mind, he’s no longer a big part of what you hold dear. If you’re subconsciously seeing him in a transient way, i.e. as if he’s not a permanent fixture or a solid part of your life, then you’ve already psychologically let go and are just treading water. End the relationship so both of you can move on.
制定计划时不再考虑你的伴侣是几大分手征兆之一—如果你制定计划时都不会想到对方，那说明他在你心中的分量并不重要。如果你的潜意识中认为他只是一个过客，而不是你生命中永恒不变的人或你生活中坚固的一部分，那么你已经在心理上放手了，你们的感情开始停滞不前。结束关系可以使双方尽快看开。

4. You no longer have any fun.
没有乐趣

Relationships are supposed to be fun, and joyous, and if you’ve lost that from the relationship, it might be time to end the relationship if you find yourself unable to retrieve and reawaken the sense of fun you no doubt once shared with your significant other. Days have become dull, every attempt at excitement or some happiness-inducing activity is met with malaise or a general distaste for something that breaks you out of your routine. Nothing kills so much as endless, anodyne routine, and that’s the same with relationships.
恋情应该是有趣的，快乐的，如果你在感情中不能得到乐趣，不能重温曾经与另一半共享的快乐感觉，那可能该分手了。生活已经变得无趣，每当你试图寻找刺激或快乐时都会发生令你不舒服的事情，或者你会反感这些尝试，因为会打乱你的日常安排。无穷无尽且平淡无奇的日常安排最是无聊，在感情中也是一样。

A relationship should be responsible and grown up as well as fun, so there should always be a balancing of both sides. Being responsible and able to cut loose means you have the best of both worlds. If you’ve grown tired of the relationship, you’ve got to realize life is way too short to be with someone who doesn’t appreciate the same sort of fun you have, and if you’ve had this discussion more than enough times without gaining any compromise or leeway, it might be right to end the relationship.
一段感情是应该是负责任的，成熟的，但也应该是有趣的，这之间要有平衡。既负责任又有自由意味着你充分享受了这两种特质。如果你已经对这段感情厌烦，你会觉得生活苦短，你没有时间和不能体会你发现的乐趣的人耗在一起，如果在这个问题上你已经和对方讨论过很多次，但依旧没有妥协或余地，那也许该结束关系了。

5. You fantasize about life with someone else.
你幻想与其他人一起生活

Everyone fantasizes – it’s a part of human nature, the ability to dream and creatively envision that which may or may not have been, or all that could have been, in either a positive or negative way. However, it begins to negatively affect your relationship when you cannot channel your energies into being in a relationship with your current significant other, instead choosing to daydream about a life with someone else – or, more honestly,anyone else.
每个人都有幻想，这是人性的一部分，是一种梦想并有创意地想象可能不会发生，本来能够发生的事情的能力，既可以是积极的也可以是消极的。然而，当你不能全神贯注于和当下的这段感情，而是整天幻想和别人在一起，或者和任何其他人在一起，这种幻想则会对你的感情带来负面影响。

This isn’t the same as having a little pleasant daydream about Liam Hemsworth or Kate Upton or Laverne Cox, and then going on in your daily life. The kind of fantasizing we’re talking about here is the persistent, half-serious daydreaming about someone who’s caught your eye and whom you could seriously see yourself sharing a life with. Maybe it’s the cute co-worker who always sits next to you and shares snacks with you, or the barista at the coffee shop who knows you by name and gives you a special smile. If you’re going down this route, then perhaps you’ve already given up on your relationship psychologically and emotionally, and it might be time to end the relationship you’re currently in.
这与愉快地幻想能与明星亲密接触是不同的。我们讨论的是一种持续性的，半认真的幻想，幻想对象是引起你注意的人，是你真的认为会与你一起生活的人。这个人可能是坐你旁边，和你分享零食的帅气同事，也可能是知道你的名字，对你意味深长地微笑的咖啡师。如果你继续幻想下去，那也许你已经从心理上和感情上放弃了这段关系，也许是该结束的时候了。

6. You can’t see a future with him or her.
你认为和他/她没有未来

The most important point of being in a relationship is the idea of creating a future together, shaping and designing your life you are actively choosing to share with your significant other. If you cannot imagine a future with this person, then it brings about the question about why you are in the relationship to begin with and why you’re choosing to remain in a situation with which you have little emotional investment.
在感情中最重要的事情是一起创造未来，打造并设计你主动与另一半分享的人生。如果你看不到和这个人的将来，那就要问你为什么会开始这段感情，你为什么要维持你根本没有情感投资的情形。

That isn’t to say having casual relationships are stupid or pointless – they can be fun and an enjoyable experience – but if you’re in a full-on, long-term relationship with someone, the idea of spending the rest of your life with this person has to be a large contributing factor to the relationship. If you’re not seeing or wanting to envision a future with this person, then it’s time to end the relationship and move on.
这并不是说性伙伴关系是愚蠢的或者无意义的，他们可以是一种乐子，一种令人愉快的体验，但如果你和他人建立的是全身心的长期感情，与他共度余生的想法必须是一个重要部分。如果你看不到或不愿去想象和这个人在一起的未来，那还是结束关系向前进吧。

7. You can’t get excited about the idea of marrying this person.
和他结婚不会使你兴奋

Marriage isn’t for everyone and that’s okay, but a way to assess whether or not it might be time to end the relationship, is to look to a possible future and imagine yourself getting married to your current partner. Not just the idea of marriage, but the whole shindig. The physical act of marriage. Chances are if you’re at the end of your relationship’s path, the idea of marrying this person and consigning yourself to potentially years of marriage with him or her sends a cold shiver down your spine and makes you feel absolutely terrified.
并不是每个人都会结婚，这是无可厚非的，但是评判是否应该分手的途径之一就是设想可能的未来，想象你和现在的情侣结婚。不只是婚姻的想法，而是整个婚礼过程。婚姻的物质形式。如果你的感情已经走到了尽头，那和这个人结婚，和他/她一起过婚姻生活的想法会让你背后发凉，惊惶不安。

Getting married is a bit of an extreme circumstance, perhaps, but the idea of any form of strong, serious commitment with a person can induce feelings of panic and fear, and might be a strong indicator and sign it’s time to end the relationship. Things have run their course, maybe, and while it’s nice to cling to the idea of changing and getting over it, it’s not fair to the other person who might be more committed and ready to take that step where you cannot just yet.
也许，结婚是一种极端情况，但是如果以任何形式对一个人做出严肃有力的承诺都会引起惊慌和害怕的感觉，这可能是一个明显的预示，意味着该分手了。也许一切自有定数，虽然你可以克服想要改变的想法，但这对更加坚定，愿意与你迈出这一步的对方来说是不公平的。

8. You realize he or she has become a stranger.
你发现他/她已经是个陌生人了

The final nail in any relationship’s coffin is the realization the person you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with is a stranger to you. Sure, you might have the memories and feelings you still do for this person – the weekend away, how you told him you loved him – but who he fundamentally is to you has drastically and perhaps irrevocably shifted and transformed.
所有感情棺材上的最后一颗钉子是你觉得你要共度余生的那个人越来越陌生。当然，你对他还有记忆和感觉，如一起度过的周末，以及你告诉他你爱他，但是他在你心中的地位已经发生了巨大的变化，这一变化也许是无法挽回的。

You don’t have the same ideals, the same dreams, the same supportive bond to each other you used to have. He is not the person you fell in love with, the person you shared a relationship with, and can you really continue a relationship on that? It’s impossible, untrue, and unfair, both to yourself and to the other person involved. Finding yourself lying next to a stranger who you used to call your one true love means you have to end the relationship, or spend years in regret and lying to him and yourself about what you really want. Life’s too short, after all.
你和他之间不再向过去那样有共同的理想和梦想，不再是彼此的支撑。他不是你爱过，投入过感情的那个人，你真的愿意继续这样的关系吗？这不论对你自己，还是对方，都是不可能，不真实，也是不公平的。觉得躺在你身边的人过去是你真正的爱人，现在却是一个陌生人，意味着你要么结束这段感情，要么在悔恨中度过余生，在你真正想要什么的问题上欺骗他也欺骗自己。毕竟，生命苦短。

 

转：http://xue.youdao.com/zx/archives/57080