Narrative writing revision

The story I choose: The Little Match-Girl
The point of view of the story: Third person point of view
New point of view: First person point of view
Script:
That was a Christmas Eve with heavy snow. I wandered on the street, trying to sell my matches.
“Matches, matches!” I cried in the snow, but no one looked at me.
I didn’t sell even one box, which made me desperate.
The wind blew so hard that a piercing chill penetrated through my thin coat. I couldn’t help shivering.
Meanwhile, I felt extremely hungry. I had no strength to say a word.
Suddenly, a carriage came close to me at a high speed.
Trying to keep away from the carriage, I slipped and fell on the ice. As a result, I lost my shoes.
I had to walk on the snowy street with bare feet.
Over a window, I saw a family gathering under a warm and bright light.
They seemed so happy. “It’s so nice to stay with the family.” I thought. But my parents had already died a few days ago.
The snow began to fall more heavily.
“It’s so cold.” My body was almost frozen hard.
Even though I was hungry, and felt sharp pain in my feet, I couldn’t go back home because I had not sold any matches.
“Matches, you want some matches?”
The people walking on the street looked very happy holding each other’s arms.
But still, no one bought my matches.
“Ho~” I tried to warm up my hands and feet, but it only made me hungrier.
“It’s so cold. Why is it so cold today? I have to skip my meal today because I cannot sell any of these matches.”
I lit a match to warm up my body. I knew exactly that these matches could not really change my fate, but I still wanted to believe that there was a beam of warm light that could light my way forward.
Even though it was a small light, it made me a little warmer.
I felt as if I was sitting right next to a fireplace.
“Oh, it’s warm!” I kept lighting matches.
Suddenly, a table full of delicious food showed up in front of me.
“Oh, it looks delicious.”
As I lit another match, a Christmas tree appeared.
“How beautiful!” I lit the last match.
Then, my dear grandmother appeared.
“Sweetie, come to Heaven with me.” My grandmother held me tightly in her arms and then we rose up to the sky.
The next day, I was dead and found in the street.
“Poor girl, maybe she tried to warm herself with these matches.”
People felt pity for me and buried me in the ground in the sunlight.