凯文·凯利（Kevin Kelly）：我希望年轻时就知道的103条人生建议

此文虽然有了多个中文版本，还是想重新翻译一次，算是精读。

今天是我的生日。我已经 70 岁了。到目前为止，我学到了一些可能对其他人有帮助的东西。在过去的几年里，我每年都会记下一些不请自来的建议，令我惊讶的是，今年我还有更多要补充的东西。所以这是我给大家的生日礼物：103 条我希望我年轻时就知道的人生智慧。

1-10

• About 99% of the time, the right time is right now.

大约99%的时候，最佳时机就是现在。

• No one is as impressed with your possessions as you are.

没有人像你一样对你的资产印象深刻。

• Dont ever work for someone you dont want to become.

永远不要为你不想成为的人工作。

• Cultivate 12 people who love you, because they are worth more than 12 million people who like you.

用心滋养12个爱你的人，因为他们比1200万喜欢你的人更有价值。

• Dont keep making the same mistakes; try to make new mistakes.

不要一直犯同样的错误；尝试犯些新的错误。

• If you stop to listen to a musician or street performer for more than a minute, you owe them a dollar.

如果你停下来听一个音乐家或街头艺人表演超过一分钟，你就欠他们一美元.

• Anything you say before the word “but” does not count.

你在“但是”这个词之前说的任何话都不算数。

• When you forgive others, they may not notice, but you will heal. Forgiveness is not something we do for others; it is a gift to ourselves.

当宽恕他人时，对方可能不会注意到，但你会被治愈。宽恕不是我们为他人做的事；而是给自己的礼物。

• Courtesy costs nothing. Lower the toilet seat after use. Let the people in the elevator exit before you enter. Return shopping carts to their designated areas. When you borrow something, return it better shape (filled up, cleaned) than when you got it.

体面并不需要花钱：（男士）如厕后放下马桶圈；让电梯里的人先出来，你再进去；把购物车放回指定区域；当你借东西的时候，归还的时候要比你得到的时候更好（填满，更清洁）。

• Whenever there is an argument between two sides, find the third side.

每当发生两个观点的争执时，找到第三种观点。

11-20

• Efficiency is highly overrated; Goofing off is highly underrated. Regularly scheduled sabbaths, sabbaticals, vacations, breaks, aimless walks and time off are essential for top performance of any kind. The best work ethic requires a good rest ethic.

高效被过度强调了，而无所事事放空休闲的重要性则被严重低估了。定期的周日安息、职业年假、度假出游、工作日中的茶歇、漫无目的的散步和远离工作的时间，对任何领域想获得顶级成就都极其重要。最好的职业道德要求良好的休息道德。

• When you lead, your real job is to create more leaders, not more followers.

真正的领导力，是塑造更多的领导者，而不是更多的追随者.

• Criticize in private, praise in public.

批评人要在私下，表扬人要尽可能公开。

• Life lessons will be presented to you in the order they are needed. Everything you need to master the lesson is within you. Once you have truly learned a lesson, you will be presented with the next one. If you are alive, that means you still have lessons to learn.

人生功课会按照你需要的顺序到来。而且你已经掌握精通此门功课所需要的一切。一旦你真正掌握了一门功课，你就会得到下一个。只要生命在继续，那也意味着持续的功课.

• It is the duty of a student to get everything out of a teacher, and the duty of a teacher to get everything out of a student.

从老师那里学到一切是学生的责任，充分激发学生的潜能也是老师的责任

• If winning becomes too important in a game, change the rules to make it more fun. Changing rules can become the new game.

在一场比赛中如果输赢变得太过重要，就应该改变规则，使其变得更加有趣。改变规则后可以成为新的游戏。

• Ask funders for money, and they’ll give you advice; but ask for advice and they’ll give you money.

向投资人筹款，他们会给你建议；但向他们咨询建议，他们会给你金钱。

• Productivity is often a distraction. Don’t aim for better ways to get through your tasks as quickly as possible, rather aim for better tasks that you never want to stop doing.

对效率的追求往往会分散注意力。不要总想着寻找可以快速完成任务的方法，而应该寻找你永远不想停下手的任务。

• Immediately pay what you owe to vendors, workers, contractors. They will go out of their way to work with you first next time.

立即支付您欠供应商、工人、承包商的款项。下次他们会不遗余力地与您合作，像第一次合作一样。

• The biggest lie we tell ourselves is “I dont need to write this down because I will remember it.”

我们对自己撒的最大谎言是 "这不需要写下来，我能记得住"。

21-30

• Your growth as a conscious being is measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations you are willing to have.

作为一个有意识的人，你的成长是由你乐意进行的不愉快对话的数量来衡量的。

• Speak confidently as if you are right, but listen carefully as if you are wrong.

以“我是对的”那样充满自信地讲话，但要以“我是错的”那样去聆听。

• Handy measure: the distance between your fingertips of your outstretched arms at shoulder level is your height.

方便的测量方法：你伸开的手臂与肩膀水平的指尖之间的距离就是你的身高。

• The consistency of your endeavors (exercise, companionship, work) is more important than the quantity. Nothing beats small things done every day, which is way more important than what you do occasionally.

你努力（锻炼、陪伴、工作）的持续性比数量更重要。没有什么比每天坚持做一点小事更重要的了，这比你偶尔做的大事更重要。

• Making art is not selfish; it’s for the rest of us. If you don’t do your thing, you are cheating us.

创造艺术不是自私的；这是给我们其他人的。如果你不做你自己的事，那就是在欺骗我们。

• Never ask a woman if she is pregnant. Let her tell you if she is.

永远不要问一位女士是否怀孕了，需要让她自己说出来。

• Three things you need: The ability to not give up something till it works, the ability to give up something that does not work, and the trust in other people to help you distinguish between the two.

人需要三项很重要的能力：坚持不放弃直至成功的能力，能够放弃不对的事情的能力，以及能够无条件信任能帮助你鉴别上述两种情况他人的能力。

• When public speaking, pause frequently. Pause before you say something in a new way, pause after you have said something you believe is important, and pause as a relief to let listeners absorb details.

公开演讲时，要经常停顿。在你用新的方式说某事之前停顿一下，在你说了你认为重要的事情之后停顿一下，然后刻意制造停顿，让听众吸收细节。

• There is no such thing as being “on time.” You are either late or you are early. Your choice.

没有所谓的 "准时 "之说。你要么迟到，要么提前。你别无选择。

• Ask anyone you admire: Their lucky breaks happened on a detour from their main goal. So embrace detours. Life is not a straight line for anyone.

问问你钦佩的任何人：堪称幸运的突破和转机，常发生在偏离主要目标的小道上。所以，请拥抱“偏离”。对任何人来说，生活都不是一条直线。

31-40

• The best way to get a correct answer on the internet is to post an obviously wrong answer and wait for someone to correct you.

在互联网上获得正确答案的最好方法是发布一个明显错误的答案，并等待有人来纠正你。

• You’ll get 10x better results by elevating good behavior rather than punishing bad behavior, especially in children and animals.

想要得到10倍好的结果，应该通过表扬好的行为而不是惩罚坏的行为。这在儿童和动物教育身上尤其明显。

• Spend as much time crafting the subject line of an email as the message itself because the subject line is often the only thing people read.

尽量用心地修改电子邮件的标题，像对比邮件内容一样，因为这往往是人们唯一会看的内容。

• Don’t wait for the storm to pass; dance in the rain.

不要等待暴风雨过去，在雨中起舞吧。

• When checking references for a job applicant, employers may be reluctant or prohibited from saying anything negative, so leave or send a message that says, “Get back to me if you highly recommend this applicant as super great.” If they don’t reply take that as a negative.

做求职者的背景调查时，原雇主可能不愿意或被禁止说任何负面的东西，所以，应发送这样的调查信息："如果您强烈认为这位求职者极其出色，请给我回邮件。" 如果他们不回复，就当作是对候选人的否定。

• Use a password manager: Safer, easier, better.

使用密码管理器吧：更安全、更简单、更美好。

• Half the skill of being educated is learning what you can ignore.

接受教育需要掌握的技能有一半是学会哪些东西你可以忽略。

• The advantage of a ridiculously ambitious goal is that it sets the bar very high so even in failure it may be a success measured by the ordinary.

一个荒谬的雄心勃勃的目标的优点是它设定了很高的标准，所以即使失败了，也可能已经是常规意义上的成功。

• A great way to understand yourself is to seriously reflect on everything you find irritating in others.

了解自己的一个好办法，是认真地思考你发现的他人身上让你讨厌的东西。

• Keep all your things visible in a hotel room, not in drawers, and all gathered into one spot. That way you’ll never leave anything behind. If you need to have something like a charger off to the side, place a couple of other large items next to it, because you are less likely to leave 3 items behind than just one.

住酒店时，把所有的东西都放在显眼的地方，不要放在抽屉里，全部集中到一个地方。这样你就不会落下任何东西。如果你需要把充电器之类的东西放在一边，在它旁边放几件其他的大件物品，你落下三样东西的可能性比落下一件要小很多。

41-50

• Denying or deflecting a compliment is rude. Accept it with thanks, even if you believe it is not deserved.

否认或回避赞美很不礼貌。即使你认为自己并不值得，也应接心怀感激。

• Always read the plaque next to the monument.

总是阅读纪念碑旁边的牌匾。

• When you have some success, the feeling of being an imposter can be real. Who am I fooling? But when you create things that only you — with your unique talents and experience — can do, then you are absolutely not an imposter. You are the ordained. It is your duty to work on things that only you can do.

当获得一些成功时，你很可能会犯“顶替者综合症”（觉得自己名不副实）。“我在愚弄谁呢？” 但当你创造出只有你--以你独特的才能和经验--才能创造的事物时，那你绝不是顶替者。持续去做只有你才能做出来的事情吧，这是你的使命。

• What you do on your bad days matters more than what you do on your good days.

在逆境中你的所为，比在顺境中你的行为，更重要。

• Make stuff that is good for people to have.

去做对他人有价值的东西。

• When you open paint, even a tiny bit, it will always find its way to your clothes no matter how careful you are. Dress accordingly.

当你打开一瓶颜料时，无论你多么小心，它总能溅到你的衣服上，哪怕是一点点。根据这个原则对待自己的着装。

• To keep young kids behaving on a car road trip, have a bag of their favorite candy and throw a piece out the window each time they misbehave.

想让小孩子在汽车旅行中表现良好，可以准备一袋他们喜欢的糖果，当他/她不乖时，就向窗外扔掉一块糖。

• You cannot get smart people to work extremely hard just for money.

你永远没办法让聪明人仅仅为了钱而拼命工作。

• When you don’t know how much to pay someone for a particular task, ask them “what would be fair” and their answer usually is.

当您不知道为某项特定任务付给某人多少钱时，问他们“什么是公平的”，他们的回答通常是你需要的答案。

• 90% of everything is crap. If you think you don’t like opera, romance novels, TikTok, country music, vegan food, NFTs, keep trying to see if you can find the 10% that is not crap.

这世上90%的东西都没价值。如果你觉得你不喜欢歌剧、言情小说、TikTok、乡村音乐、素食、NFT，继续尝试，看你是否能找到于你而言，有价值的那10%。

51-60

• You will be judged on how well you treat those who can do nothing for you.

评判你的标准是你如何对待那些对你没有价值的人。

• We tend to overestimate what we can do in a day, and underestimate what we can achieve in a decade. Miraculous things can be accomplished if you give it ten years. A long game will compound small gains to overcome even big mistakes.

我们往往高估我们一天能做什么，而低估我们十年能实现什么。如果你给它十年的时间，奇迹般的事情是可以达到的。一场漫长的比赛会持续积累小的收获，甚至以此克服巨大的错误。

• Thank a teacher who changed your life.

感谢改变了你生活的那位老师。

• You cant reason someone out of a notion that they didn’t reason themselves into.

你无法用一个他们没有说服自己的想法（概念、体系）来说服他人。

• Your best job will be one that you were unqualified for because it stretches you. In fact only apply to jobs you are unqualified for.

最好的工作是你不能胜任的工作，因为它会最大限度扩展你的能力。其实人应该只申请你不能胜任的工作。

• Buy used books. They have the same words as the new ones. Also libraries.

买二手书吧。和（更贵的）新书、以及图书馆（里的书）字都一样。

• You can be whatever you want, so be the person who ends meetings early.

你能做任何你想做的事——所以，做一个提前结束会议的人。

• A wise man said, “Before you speak, let your words pass through three gates. At the first gate, ask yourself, “Is it true?” At the second gate ask, “Is it necessary?” At the third gate ask, “Is it kind?”

智者云：“话说出口之前，请三省自问。第一层自问，“它是真的吗？”，第二层自问：“有必要说么？”第三层自问：“是出于善意的么？”

• Take the stairs.

尽可能走楼梯。

• What you actually pay for something is at least twice the listed price because of the energy, time, money needed to set it up, learn, maintain, repair, and dispose of at the end. Not all prices appear on labels. Actual costs are 2x listed prices.

人为某样东西实际支付的成本至少是标价的两倍，因为买来后设置、学习、维护、修理，以及最后处置，也需要耗费精力、时间和钱。不是所有的实际成本都在价签上。实际成本是标价的2倍。

61-70

• When you arrive at your room in a hotel, locate the emergency exits. It only takes a minute.

进入酒店房间第一件事，先查看紧急出口。只需要花一分钟时间。

• The only productive way to answer “what should I do now?” is to first tackle the question of “who should I become?”

回答 "我现在应该做什么？"的唯一有效的方式是首先回答 "我想成为谁？"。

• Average returns sustained over an above-average period of time yield extraordinary results. Buy and hold.

即使是表现平平的资产，在高于平均的时长内持有，也会产生非凡的回报。买入并持有吧。

• It’s thrilling to be extremely polite to rude strangers.

对粗鲁的陌生人非常有礼貌是令人兴奋的。

• It’s possible that a not-so smart person, who can communicate well, can do much better than a super smart person who can’t communicate well. That is good news because it is much easier to improve your communication skills than your intelligence.

一个不太聪明但沟通能力不错的人，可能会比一个超级聪明但沟通能力欠缺的人更成功。这是个好消息，因为提高沟通能力的提高，比智商的提高要容易得多。

• Getting cheated occasionally is the small price for trusting the best of everyone, because when you trust the best in others, they generally treat you best.

总是去信任他人身上的闪光点，因为看到他人闪光点且信任的人，也常收获他人对你的好。偶尔被骗只是伴随的小代价。

• Art is whatever you can get away with.

任意能让你脱离现实的避风港，都是艺术。

• For the best results with your children, spend only half the money you think you should, but double the time with them.

在孩子身上获得最好的收获，请只花你预算的一半的钱，但花双倍的时间陪伴他们。

• Purchase the most recent tourist guidebook to your home town or region. You’ll learn a lot by playing the tourist once a year.

购买您家乡或地区的最新旅游指南。通过每年"扮演"一次游客，你会学到很多东西。

• Dont wait in line to eat something famous. It is rarely worth the wait.

不要为网红食物排队。它常常不值得花费的时间。

71-80

• To rapidly reveal the true character of a person you just met, move them onto an abysmally slow internet connection. Observe.

想要迅速了解刚认识的人的真实性格，可以给他们一个超级慢的网络。观察他的表现。

• Prescription for popular success: do something strange. Make a habit of your weird.

世俗成功的奥秘：做一些奇怪的事情。养成你古怪行为的习惯。

• Be a pro. Back up your back up. Have at least one physical backup and one backup in the cloud. Have more than one of each. How much would you pay to retrieve all your data, photos, notes, if you lost them? Backups are cheap compared to regrets.

专业点！对一切数据进行冗余备份，至少要有一个物理硬盘备份和一个云端备份。每个备份都要多于一个。想想要是你弄丢了所有数据、照片、笔记，得花多少钱来找回它们？与遗憾相比，备份很便宜。

• Dont believe everything you think you believe.

不要相信你认为自己相信的一切。

• To signal an emergency, use the rule of three; 3 shouts, 3 horn blasts, or 3 whistles.

发出一个紧急信号，要使用“三”法则；三次呼喊、三声喇叭或三声哨声。

• At a restaurant do you order what you know is great, or do you try something new? Do you make what you know will sell or try something new? Do you keep dating new folks or try to commit to someone you already met? The optimal balance for exploring new things vs exploiting them once found is: 1/3. Spend 1/3 of your time on exploring and 2/3 time on deepening. It is harder to devote time to exploring as you age because it seems unproductive, but aim for 1/3.

在餐厅，您会点自己认为很棒的东西，还是尝试新的东西？你做你知道会大卖的东西还是尝试新的东西？您是否继续与新朋友约会或尝试向您已经认识的人做出承诺？探索新事物与最大化收获已有事物的最佳平衡是：1/3。将 1/3 的时间用于探索，2/3 的时间用于深化。随着年龄的增长，更难花时间去探索，因为它似乎没有成效，但请将比例维持在 1/3。

• Actual great opportunities do not have “Great Opportunities” in the subject line.

实际的好机会不会在主题栏中出现 "我的好机会"的标签。

• When introduced to someone make eye contact and count to 4. You’ll both remember each other.

当被介绍给某人时，要有眼神接触并数到4，你们都会记住对方。

• Take note if you find yourself wondering “Where is my good knife? Or, where is my good pen?” That means you have bad ones. Get rid of those.

如果你发现自己在想 "咦，我的好刀呢？”或者“我的好笔在哪里？" 这意味着你有的是坏的东西。把坏的扔掉吧。

• When you are stuck, explain your problem to others. Often simply laying out a problem will present a solution. Make “explaining the problem” part of your troubleshooting process.

当陷入困境时，向别人解释你遇到的问题。通常情况下，仅仅是把问题描述出来，就会呈现出一个解决方案。让 "描述问题 "成为你排除故障的一个固定流程。

81-90

• When buying a garden hose, an extension cord, or a ladder, get one substantially longer than you think you need. It’ll be the right size.

买水管、延长线或梯子时，买比你认为需要的长得多的。那才会是正确的尺寸。

• Dont bother fighting the old; just build the new.

别费劲去折腾旧事物了。建立新的吧。

• Your group can achieve great things way beyond your means simply by showing people that they are appreciated.

你的团队可以取得超出你能力范围的伟大成就。只要简单向小伙伴们表达感恩，珍视大家的付出。

• When someone tells you about the peak year of human history, the period of time when things were good before things went downhill, it will always be the years of when they were 10 years old — which is the peak of any human’s existence.

当有人和你讲人类历史的巅峰辉煌之年，即事情走下坡路之前的那段时期，你发现好像总是他们10岁的时候--这是任何人类存在的高峰。

• You are as big as the things that make you angry.

你和让你生气的事情一样大。

• When speaking to an audience it’s better to fix your gaze on a few people than to “spray” your gaze across the room. Your eyes telegraph to others whether you really believe what you are saying.

在面向听众讲话时，将目光固定在几个人身上比将目光 "扫射 "到整个房间更好。你的眼睛会向别人传达你的坚信。

• Habit is far more dependable than inspiration. Make progress by making habits. Dont focus on getting into shape. Focus on becoming the kind of person who never misses a workout.

习惯比灵感要可靠得多。通过养成习惯来取得进步。不要把注意力放在塑身上。专注于成为那种从不错过锻炼的人。

• When negotiating, dont aim for a bigger piece of the pie; aim to create a bigger pie.

谈判时，勿以抢更大份的蛋糕为目标；以做一个更大的蛋糕为目标。

• If you repeated what you did today 365 more times will you be where you want to be next year?

若你把今天所做的事情再重复365次，明年你会获得你想要获得的吗？

• You see only 2% of another person, and they see only 2% of you. Attune yourselves to the hidden 98%.

你只能看到别人的2%，他们看你也是如此。围绕自己那隐藏的98%（真正的本性）去展开生活。

91-100

• Your time and space are limited. Remove, give away, throw out things in your life that dont spark joy any longer in order to make room for those that do.

你的时间和空间都是有限的。移除、放弃、扔掉生活里那些不再能激发愉悦的东西，为那些能激发快乐的新事物腾出空间。

• Our descendants will achieve things that will amaze us, yet a portion of what they will create could have been made with today’s materials and tools if we had had the imagination. Think bigger.

人类的一代代后代，将取得令我们惊讶的成就，然而如果我们有想象力，未来的他们将会创造的一部分东西，已经可以用今天现有的材料和工具来制造。展开畅想吧。

• For a great payoff be especially curious about the things you are not interested in.

为了获得巨大的回报，对你不感兴趣的事情也应足够好奇。

• Focus on directions rather than destinations. Who knows their destiny? But maintain the right direction and you’ll arrive at where you want to go.

专注于方向而不是目的地。谁能知晓自己的命运？但保持正确的方向，你就定会到达你想去的地方。

• Every breakthrough is at first laughable and ridiculous. In fact if it did not start out laughable and ridiculous, it is not a breakthrough.

每一项伟大突破最开始都是可笑的、荒谬的。事实上，如果它一开始不是可笑和荒谬的，就不是突破。

• If you loan someone $20 and you never see them again because they are avoiding paying you back, that makes it worth $20.

如果你借给某人20 美元，之后再也见不到他们还回来，那这人就值 20 美元。

• Copying others is a good way to start. Copying yourself is a disappointing way to end.

借鉴他人是一种好的开始方法。抄袭自己则是一个令人失望的结束方式。

• The best time to negotiate your salary for a new job is the moment AFTER they say they want you, and not before. Then it becomes a game of chicken for each side to name an amount first, but it is to your advantage to get them to give a number before you do.

为一份新工作谈判薪水的最佳时机是在他们说想要你之后，而不是之前。然后，双方先说出一个数字就变成了一场胆小鬼游戏，但让他们在你之前给出一个数字对你有利。

• Rather than steering your life to avoid surprises, aim directly for them.

与其控制你的生活以避免意外，不如去迎接意外。

• Dont purchase extra insurance if you are renting a car with a credit card.

如果你用信用卡租车，不要购买额外的保险。

100-103

• If your opinions on one subject can be predicted from your opinions on another, you may be in the grip of an ideology. When you truly think for yourself your conclusions will not be predictable.

如果你对一个主题的观点可以从你对另一个主题的观点中预测出来，那么你可能处于一种意识形态的掌控之中。当您真正独立思考时，您的结论将无法预测。

• Aim to die broke. Give to your beneficiaries before you die; it’s more fun and useful. Spend it all. Your last check should go to the funeral home and it should bounce.

争取死时一贫如洗。在你离世之前，去捐赠；这更有趣也更有用。花光所有的钱。你的最后一张支票应该支付给殡仪馆，且尽量让它因余额不足而退票。

• The chief prevention against getting old is to remain astonished.

避免老化的主要方法是保持惊讶。

参考链接

• 103 Bits of Advice I Wish I Had Known

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