Why relationships must be equal?

双方平等的亲密关系，才能走得更远（节选）

We all want to be treated fairly(公平地), and this comes up frequently in intimate(亲密的) relationships. 

It isn't cool if no one wants to be apologizing for a fight.

Abusive(虐待性的) relationships are fundamentally unfair, where one person expects a servant(仆人) or a target instead of an equal partner.

We recognize injustice(不公正), almost from birth.

Of course, exact(严格的、准确的) fairness in a relationship isn't possible, and there are always differences in what partners think is fair. 

It isn't helpful to keep score and argue about fairness.

This is a selfish focus: "What's in it for me?" 
Rather than: "What's the right thing for us?"

This is not fairness but an immature(幼稚的) debate(争论).

In contrast, healthy partners both contribute to the relationship. They are willing to give extra and rebalance when needed, even when it involves being unselfish.

When partners consistently make an effort to be fair across all dimensions of relationship, relationships thrive(繁荣、旺盛、蓬勃发展).

"Drop by drop is the water pot filled. Likewise, the wise one, gathering it little by little, fills oneself with good."(“水壶一滴一滴地装满水。同样地，智者一点一点地收集水，使自己充满善。”)

Small efforts to be fair have big benefits in relationships.