characteristics of competent communicators
Researchers have broken down the characteristics of competent communicators into five (5) areas: self-awareness, adaptability, empathy, cognitive complexity, and ethics. We shall define and discuss each, in turn.
Self-awareness means being aware of your own communication behaviors. Part of this is self-monitoring, which means that you observe your own communication behaviors and ensure they are appropriate to the situation. As an example, if you are someone who tends to use foul language, you would self-monitor while you're in a place of religious worship -- such as a church, temple, or mosque -- and refrain from such language usage in this environment.
Adaptabilityis the ability to adapt your communication to the environment you're in. That is, you wouldn't communicate in the same way to your closest friends as you would to your co-workers. Rather, while you're at work, you would adapt your communication behaviors to the norms and standards of the communication environment at work, and when you're with your friends, you adapt to that social environment accordingly.
Empathy means that you communicate with another person while putting yourself in that person's shoes, so to speak. For example, if your friend has just announced he is getting a divorce, you would consider that friend's frame of mind and refrain from bringing up how great your own significant relationship is at the moment, aware that such statements will likely only serve to make your friend feel worse about his or her own challenging situation.
Cognitive complexityis the idea that another's communication behavior can have multiple sources. This means that when someone is sharp with you, it could be from something you've done, yes, and perhaps that person is reacting to you. However, it could also be a result of that person's physical well-being at the moment -- perhaps s/he has a headache or didn't get enough sleep the night before -- or something in that person's life that is weighing on him or her at the moment.
Ethics means to communicate in ways that are morally correct. That is, when someone is particularly vulnerable, we don't take advantage of that person's weakened state to get him or her to agree to something that s/he otherwise would not likely have done.
