很感人的对白（大概可以算成《河东狮吼》的美版）
google 翻译
马修：没有你，我感到很孤独作为一个被遗弃的狗的一侧公路。我的礼物焦虑，即使是通过我不知道什么时候是你的生日。我们可以花几天的购物完美和清洁在一起。我发誓，我永远不会让wisecracks当你刮你的轮胎对遏制，同时平行停车。如果你同意我住在一起，我会干净的厕所每星期。我会做到这一点与我的舌头，如果你问。我将罢工改为“猫头鹰”和“爱火箭”从我的词汇。我会爱你。即使你的名字叫咪咪，你要我表态是“ 5月5月” 。我将只通过下面的气体覆盖下，最可怕的情况。地狱，我去一个低胆固醇的饮食。我不会购买这些红色跑车当我打我的中年危机。你的父母可以来访问我们每星期，即使你妈妈是一个巫婆与资本B.和你的人没有去养老院，因为他们可以来到我们的生活。我宣布，我会单独从白人的颜色和学习的奥秘热水和冷水洗涤。我永远不会吞吐等待你使我化妆。如果你是一只猫的人，我永远也不会指出这样一个事实，即狗可以挽救你的生命从溺水，但猫不能。我将愉快地去看鸡片，与您一样， “傲慢与偏见” 。我要让点，尝试新的食物秋葵秋葵汤一样。我不会卷曲在我的鼻子可怕的蔬菜，其味道是变相的奶酪上了它。我保证总是说“是”当你问： “难道我的头发好期待今晚？ ”我一定带来一个全新的含义，用“拥抱” 。我会深思熟虑足够的阅读您的占星每一天。我一定拯救每一个生日卡你寄给我！我会写信给你其实真正的信件时，我们正在四分五裂。我从来没有一定希望你知道我离开了我的车钥匙，我永远不会离开我的袜子在地板上。随着我，你会发现的上限始终是对牙膏等。我就开始穿比基尼式的内衣如果你喜欢。我的肚脐将永远是皮棉免费的。我想全面的吻你的阴蒂。这将是最有激情，亲密的经验，你已经过。现在我宣布，我将我的生命为你。如果你不来找我，我知道有些部分我一定会死。
原文：
Matthew: Without you, I'm as lonely as an abandoned dog on the side of a highway. I have gift anxiety, even through I don't know when your birthday is. We can spend perfect days shopping and cleaning together. I swear, I'll never make wisecracks when you scrape your tires against the curb while parallel parking. If you consent to live with me, I'll clean the toilet every week. I'll do it with my tongue if you ask. I will strike the words "hooters" and "love rockets" from my vocabulary. I'll love you. Even if your name is Mimi and you want me to pronounce it "May May". I will only pass gas underneath the covers and under the direst of circumstances. Hell, I'll go on a low cholesterol diet. And I won't buy one of those red sports cars when I hit my mid-life crisis. Your parents can come visit us every week, even if your mom is a witch with a capital B. And your folks don't have to go to a retirement home because they can come live with us. I declare, I'll separate the whites from the colors and learn the mysteries of hot and cold water washes. I'll never huff and puff while waiting for you to put on my makeup. If you're a cat person, I'll never point out the fact that a dog can save your life from drowning, but a cat can't. I will happily go see chick flicks with you, like "Pride and Prejudice". I'll make a point to trying new food like okra gumbo. I won't curl my nose at vegetables whose awful taste is disguised by having cheese on it. I pledge to always say "yes" when you ask, "Is my hair looking okay tonight?" I'm gonna bring a whole new meaning to the word "cuddle". I'll be thoughtful enough to read your horoscope every day. I'm gonna save every birthday card you send me! And I'll actually write you real letters when we're apart. I'm never gonna expect you to know where I left my car keys, and I'll never leave my socks on the floor. With me, you'll find the cap is always on the toothpaste. I'll start wearing those bikini style underwear if you like. My belly button will always be lint free. I want to full-on kiss your clitoris. It will be the most passionate, intimate experience you've ever had. I declare now, I will give my life for you. And if you fail to come to me, I know some part of me will surely die.
