沃顿商学院全套笔记-二十九-

沃顿商学院全套笔记（二十九）

沃顿商学院《实现个人和职业成功（成功、沟通能力、影响力）｜Achieving Personal and Professional Success》中英字幕 - P24：23_评估你当前的动机.zh_en - GPT中英字幕课程资源 - BV1VH4y1J7Zk

So as you begin putting the concepts and materials to work that we've been covering。

in this whole course， one of the things that's very important that we haven't talked about。

yet is assessing the kind of motivation that is primarily driving you。

Now there are two kinds of motivation that people usually talk about which is intrinsic， motivation。

doing things just because you love doing them and not for any kind of reward。

and extrinsic motivation which is doing things primarily for a reward and whether you like。

them or not is sort of indifferent。 My own feeling is that those two generally mix。

everybody has some level of intrinsic， motivation and extrinsic motivation that is getting them going on whatever their projects。

are and depending on the part of your life that you're working on， happiness tends to。

be more correlated with intrinsic motivation activities， hobbies， time with your children。

work often more associated with extrinsic motivation， things you get paid for， things。

that you kind of process in the ordinary way of getting a paycheck。

But I'd like to talk about one other cut on motivation that I think is most intimately。

related to your success concept and that is to ask a question。

In terms of your situation now and we just looked at the matrix to help you assess that。

do you feel like you're more running toward your goals at this point or do you think you're。

more running away from your fears？ The two dominant drivers in the human psyche are desire and fear。

Even a snail will move forward to get food with desire but withdraw into its shell if。

it feels threatened and has fear。 So humans have the same two principal motivations and I think it's important for you to assess。

which of these and in what mixture you're currently working on your success goals with。

Because if fear is an issue and sometimes when I ask this question to students， they。

almost look startled because although they've been thinking that they've been moving toward。

the goal of say graduation， what they realize is they've just， they've been motivated almost。

as much by the fear of disappointing their families or the fear of failure if they don't， graduate。

And to the extent that you've got these backwards and you're motivated more from fear than you。

are from the desire to achieve something， the chances are that it's going to be a much more。

haunting sense of success， a much less satisfying sense of success because all you're going。

to do is keep your fear at bay and you're not going to feel the fulfillment of having。

actually grasped something that you were pursuing。

So it's important to get this oriented in your mind。 We have many fears。

You can be motivated by simply a fear being alone or a fear of being a failure or fear。

of being not taken seriously or being unimportant or disrespected。

And those fears are dominating your life。 I think it's really important to stop and turn and face them and try to identify them。

and try to grapple with their causes。 If you don't。

it's a pretty strong chance that any efforts you make toward any kind。

of substantial achievement are going to be kind of two steps forward， one and a half steps。

back because you're not having taken care of the fear。

The desire part doesn't have the freedom to exercise all the skills and talents that you， have。

And underlying all fears in my view is one really big fear that all humans face and it's。

a big mystery and essentially it's the fear of death。

And I think it's important that everyone at some point come to terms with this important， fear。

It is sort of fundamental to the human question。 I once did a calculation and basically if you're lucky enough to be 90 years old and。

you're 90 years of filled with days of full awareness， you will live for 32，850 days， 32，850， days。

And that's all you're going to get in this life。 Now if you believe in an afterlife。

then there's another plane of existence and something， else will happen。

But it's still the case that 90 years gives you 32，850 days。

And I think it's important to understand that your time is limited and that you have to。

accept that as one of the constraints that you're living with。

Some people come to terms with their fear of death because they lose a loved one and。

they have the experience of losing them and they sort of become profoundly aware of the。

fact that they themselves may or will someday face this。

Others come to it because they have some personal experience of their own mortality。 For myself。

I was on a world journey of trying to find myself after college and seeking some。

sort of wisdom that would allow me to figure out how to put my life back together again。

in the wake of my crisis with my family and the Vietnam War and my separation from their， values。

And I was living in a Buddhist monastery in Sri Lanka and I was under the tutelage of。

a wonderful Sri Lankan teacher。 We meditated pro pretty much from six in the morning till about nine at night。

It was an hour of sitting meditation and a half an hour of walking meditation。

We only had two meals a day， breakfast and lunch and then no more food until the next， morning。

And being a Westerner and not having grown up in Asia， I had a terrible time sitting in。

the posture that you have to sit in to meditate。 And so I was in a great pain。

You only got to speak for about fifteen minutes a day and you spoke only to your teacher。

And I was finally at my wit's end one day and I went to my teacher Venerable Seavaly and， I said。

"Venerable Seavaly， I'm doing nothing in my meditation except being aware of pain。

My legs are in pain， my back is in pain， my feet are in pain and this can't be very meaningful。

for me to be sitting hour after hour and nothing but pain is happening as far as my mental。

experience。"， And he looked very compassionately at me in a very wise sort of way and he said。

"I think， it's time for you to take a walk in the forest。"。

And so he gave me leave to forgo my meditation practice for the afternoon and there was a。

great big forest outside the back of the monastery in the Port of Sri Lanka where we were located。

And so I just took a walk in the forest and it was a remarkable experience for me because。

I was simply walking along wondering why the monk had sent me back there and then all of。

a sudden I noticed that the whole forest floor was covered with dead leaves and then I noticed。

that there was a dead bird under a tree and then I noticed that the soil was filled with。

insects and animals that were sort of basically reprocessing the forest floor from all this。

detrus of nature into something that would give rise to new life。

And it just hit me that I had been reading a book and that someone had just given me the。

key to translating it and that the book was the book of life and that the main message。

was that life and death were connected and had to be with one another in order for either。

one to be。 And that hit me like a ton of bricks。 I sat down under a tree。 I wept。

I just realized that I would die just like everything in the forest and I just mourn the。

fact that that was what lay ahead for me but it was a very cathartic kind of pain at that， point。

And so I went back to my meditation and the truth is from there I marked that point in。

my life as basically a turning of the page up until that point I think I had been running。

from a certain fear of death and after that day I understood it in a kind of visceral way。

and it meant I could confront the death of my parents with a very different perspective。

It meant that I see suffering in a very different way my own and others and so it's been I。

noted for myself as a big turning point in my understanding of what life is and essentially。

what success means。 I had a student who had confronted this very differently in her experience。

She once she's a very religious person。 She was an Orthodox Jewish woman and as a child when she was about ten years old she was jumping。

into a lake near her home and she said that she hit her head on a rock that was not far。

below the surface and she felt herself drifting underwater down toward the bottom of the lake。

and she said as she drifted she felt a very warm， full， enormous presence surrounding。

her with love and that there was this embrace that she was conscious of and then the next。

thing she remembers is she was on the shoreline next to the lake and there were people pushing。

on her chest and shouting and they had located her and brought her back to the side of the。

pond and had brought her back to life and she said that this experience of almost dying。

very personal， very intimate had completely eliminated for her the fear of death because。

she now knew in her own experience that death was going to be something very different than。

she had expected and something much much more overwhelmingly positive for her。

So everything about her life had changed after that she， her concern for things like being。

alone or her concern for the death of a loved one that she of course felt compassion and。

a sense of loss but not a sense of fear and I think that fundamentally changes how you。

approach the success that you want to achieve in your life。

So I guess I'd need to ask you where you stand with this big fear and if you have confronted。

it then you've definitely overcome a major challenge that your life will hold for you。

If you're uncertain about it then I think it might be something that you want to look。

at and try to understand more deeply don't be afraid of the fear of death。

That's something that is a stage in your maturity， a stage in your growth and a stage in your。

ability to help others。 So once you transition from running away from your fears then you have the opportunity to。

run with all of your energy toward the future and toward the goals that you want to achieve。

and I just have a quick exercise that I think might help you imagine that。

We call it the lottery exercise。 It's inspired by a woman named Cynthia Stafford that I read about in my studies on success。

Cynthia Stafford was an office worker， or still is， she's alive still and she always played。

the lottery and she reported that over and over and over she would visualize this winning。

lottery ticket that she imagined she was holding and she had this amazingly vivid picture in。

her head of the dress she was going to wear， the ticket and the number on it and everything。

about the situation when she won the lottery。 Then she played this number of course over and over and then lo and behold it was a California。

lottery she won and she won on a day when she was wearing the very dress that she had。

imagined herself wearing and she ascribed it to a kind of miracle mind power that she。

just imagined that her mind had created this winning lottery ticket。

Now I think Cynthia's story is important because that's a kind of magical thinking that actually。

doesn't work because if you imagine that there are eight or ten million people playing the。

lottery at least several thousand of them are imagining that they have the winning ticket。

and the mere imagination of something is not likely to affect the lottery machine that's。

punching out the tickets。 But what I admire about Cynthia Stafford is she had this experience it was a little spooky。

I think for her but rather than turn it into some sort of motivational speaker career where。

she went around trying to convince people that magic is what makes you win a lottery。

She actually looked inside found what she was really passionate about took care of her。

family first of course set up trust funds for her kids to go to college and you know。

did some traveling。 But after that she became very passionately involved in theater she helped found some community。

theater projects in Los Angeles she partnered with David Geffen a famous theater person。

out there to start to get a program for disabled people and elderly people to come to the theater。

on the weekends when they were free and she even started a television and movie production。

company where she could make films and tell stories。

And so here's a person who won the lottery but turned it into her life streams and she。

partnered with people that helped her become successful。

So here's your challenge imagine you've won the lottery maybe you weren't wearing the same。

color dress or the same color suit that you imagined but you won the lottery anyway。

Now what would you do with it？ Let's assume you would take care of your family let's assume you would travel to your heart's。

content but let's also assume that you now have the problem of figuring out what to do。

with all this opportunity and I think if you take a minute and dream a little and write。

down what you would actually do we're money not a problem for you。

What you'll find is that you'll get some directional signals maybe you would want to。

work in education maybe you would want to work in the media maybe you would want to provide。

educational opportunities for people in your community or work in developing country or。

get involved with politics but if money were not the option what would you do and I think。

that begins to sketch out the kinds of goals that are good goals that will be inspiring。

goals to run toward。 So I'm going to give you a final exercise as part of this sequence and I want you to。

take it very seriously and it's going to have several steps。

Step one I want you to write down four or five goals that you currently have for your。

life could be short-term goal long-term goal relationship goal career goal but any kind。

of goal you want it's up to you but write down four or five of them and pause this video。

while you do that and come back and I'll have your next instruction。

So having written down the five four or five goals here's your next problem I want you。

to circle the one that is the one that you have to achieve before you can achieve the。

others so which of those goals is essentially the precondition for you to achieve the others。

if you wrote down a goal that was become a college teacher or you know write college。

textbooks or something getting a graduate degree a PhD would be a first goal that you。

have to achieve before you could achieve any of the others。

Maybe you wrote down something about a family and children finding a life partner would。

be a goal that you would have to achieve before you could achieve any of those other goals。

So note the goal that you have to achieve before you can achieve the others and then。

put a circle around it and then the final step of this is really simple at the bottom。

half of the page where you've written your goals write down two things that you can do。

this week to take steps toward advancing on that goal you put a circle around。

Two things to concrete actions you can take today tomorrow Friday that would advance you。

toward that goal that you put a circle around that is the precondition for being successful。

in any of the other goals。 I think that's the kind of commitment that you need to make it's the humility that you。

need to have in order to get your life going in the direction that your own theory of success。

suggests that it should go。 I have a home in summer place kind of down in Virginia that I first encountered as a。

child and it's a place cabin it has four bedrooms in an outhouse no bathroom and it's on a river。

pass and there are lots and lots of stones in front of it with a rushing river that's。

going by and as I was a kid because my father bought it early in my life and then I've been。

going back ever since as a kid I used to have a game and I would try to see how far down。

the river I could get on these stones that littered the river pass without getting my。

feet wet and see how many different ways you could do it and the river changed every time。

and it went up and down with the weather。 So these life goals are like the stones in the river you have to take action to get to。

the next step and then once you're there you survey the situation and then decide what's。

the next best jump you can make to keep your feet from getting too wet and get make progress。

to the next step and then you get to the next step and then survey the situation again and。

take action on the next option that you see is the best option。

So this is very concrete I think one of the things we're trying to do here is not just。

give you a theory of success but give you some tools and some motivation to take action。

toward that theory and making it a reality。 [BLANK_AUDIO]。

沃顿商学院《实现个人和职业成功（成功、沟通能力、影响力）｜Achieving Personal and Professional Success》中英字幕 - P25：24_有意义的工作.zh_en - GPT中英字幕课程资源 - BV1VH4y1J7Zk

So you may have noticed that in all our work together， as we've puzzled about the meaning。

of success， I've been trying to find different ways to help you think about integrating or。

combining the inner life and the outer life to find the happiness and satisfaction that。

there may be available in certain kinds of achievement that would be well suited for， you。

you're doing things that you do well， you're doing things that excite you。 And on the other side。

noticing the energy and the sustenance that comes from happiness。

and being able to sustain your motivation across longer periods of time to do things。

so that you do things exceptionally well。 So I want to zero in in this discussion about happiness。

the inner life， the outer life， and come to some thoughts about actually careers， work， jobs。

So the usual way that people talk about work life issues now is as a balance。

So it's sort of like a seesaw with work on one side and life on the other and every time。

you work a little more， your life takes a sacrifice and every time you pay more attention。

to your family， then you have to give up some opportunities for promotion at work。

And so there's this trade-off going on。 Now that could be the case。

but it's not necessarily the case because you can always think of different。

ways that you can put your work and life into a more harmonious relationship where they。

really are two parts of a puzzle and when they fit together well， your life sustains。

your work and your work sustains your life and they're integrated。

So if this goal appeals to you， I think it's important to give some thought to what work。

really is and how it comes to pass that some people seem to have these puzzle-like solutions。

to the work and the life part that allowed them to have the inner life and the outer life。

working in tandem。 So some wonderful research by Swarthmore College is Barry Schwartz。

He's a psychologist， part of the community that I interact with at the Penn Positive Psychology。

Center。 He and colleagues basically defined different forms of work with three different definitions。

and then they went out and did research and asked people what they thought they had and。

the three categories were a job which is simply things you do for money to allow you to do。

other things that aren't the things you do for money。

So this is what people do when they're supporting their family and getting paid nine to five。

on an hourly basis to do some work that they don't much enjoy but they do find dignity in。

it and they are able to support their families so they have a job。

A second way to think about work is to have a career。

Now career is different than a job because a career suggests that you have a sort of， ladder。

we talked about the metaphor of the ladder， that you go through stages， you advance。

with different promotions and salary increases along a track。

A career for a lawyer might be in a start as a young associate and then become a senior。

associate than a partner in a law firm or a senior lawyer in a company or at an institution。

And so you have a career certainly that's part of my approach to work as I started at。

work as an assistant professor。 I got tenure which was promoted to associate professor。

I wrote some articles and books and I became a full professor。 So that's what a career looks like。

But there's a third way to thinking about work that Barry Schwartz and his colleagues。

identified and they called it a calling。 That's a sort of semi religious term。

The Catholic Church calls it a vocation and that's work that you do because it gives。

your life a sense of purpose and meaning。 And it's funny but different careers lend themselves or different jobs lend themselves。

to being callings。 Certainly religious work is often thought of as a calling。

But oddly enough people who are artists often think of themselves as having a calling。

People who are chefs often think of themselves as doing work that amounts to a calling。

That they are called to do something that they feel really gives their life enormous meaning。

and enormous interest。 I've kind of changed the vocabulary a little bit and taken the religious piece out of it。

I think of this third thing as something I call meaningful work。

But here's an interesting finding of this research。

They actually went into a place like a hospital and they gave questionnaires to the janitorial。

staff。 Even people at the same job level in the same institution thought of their jobs in all three。

of these ways。 So some people had the job of janitor and it was a job and they were simply supporting。

their family。 They had no interest in it beyond the paycheck。 Some people thought of it as a career。

They were in the janitorial work force but they were also in the union and they were hoping。

to become a shop steward and become a union official and said they were looking at the。

job as a stepping stone along a track that would take them to more responsibility。

And some people thought even of a janitorial job in a hospital which you might not think。

is a calling。 Some people for religious reasons， for reasons that had to do with their own personal story。

they had a child who had had cancer that had been cured on the very ward that they were。

now working on to keep the ward in tidy order。 And they considered their jobs colleagues。

They considered them very meaningful and they approached it that way。

So the interesting insight is that it isn't the job that gives work meaning。

It's the people who do the work who give the work meaning。

So essentially any work can have meaning for the right person。

And a lot of it has to do with how that work fits into your life story， how that work fits。

into the context of your beliefs and values。 Now a very important part of what we talked about are your success values and the more。

you can integrate your own authentic success values into the kind of work you do that allows。

you to make a living。 The more your work life and your personal feelings of happiness and fulfillment will。

begin to coexist and overlap and feed each other in a very positive way。

So important to ask yourself is this sort of current diagnostic which kind of work do。

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I try to present my students with a model that I hope is useful。 I'm going to present it to you。

There are three circles that can intersect。 Circle number one is all those types of work that someone might pay you to do。

Then circle number two， overlapping with circle number one a little bit。

is work that you're good at doing。 Then circle number three is work that actually cites you and inspires you。

Where those three circles overlap， the circle that is work that people will pay you for。

the circle that is work that you're good at and have talents for and the circle that。

gets you excited and inspires you， that's a sweet spot right in the middle。

To the extent that on a given day or during a day of a given week。

you find yourself in that sweet spot。 I think you'll find that the energy you get from doing the work not only is energy。

well spent， but you often feel at the end of a work day that you have more energy。

than you did at the beginning because the work itself gives you energy。 When I'm teaching。

sometimes I'll teach a three-hour class and it'll be about a。

subject that I'm really passionate about and we have a great class discussion。

and the students have all prepared and they're alive and awake and engaged。

At the end of three hours， I have more energy at the end of that class than I do。

or did at the beginning of the class。 I know that in those moments I have some meaningful work of my own。

So in the part of the research that I've done in success， I've tried to tease out。

different ways that you can derive this sense of energy and excitement and。

meaning from the work that you are doing or could do。 By the way。

the search for meaningful work doesn't have to be a search for a new job。

The search for meaningful work can be the search for the meaning in the work you do。

and the highlighting of that， the crafting of it， the small adjustments you might be。

able to make to bring more excitement to the work that you're doing。

And that can be every bit as productive as thinking that you're in some crisis。

and you have to throw everything out the window and go on a quest to find the perfect job。

Believe me， there are no perfect jobs。 There are no perfect bosses。

There's no perfect way to earn a living that I've found。

So it's always a matter of making the best of the situation to the extent that you've。

crafted it yourself and make it work for you。 So there's an acronym that I've found。 Perfect。

P-E-R-F-E-C-T。 And each of these letters in the word perfect stands for some dimension of meaning。

that can enrich your working life and add purpose and excitement to it。

P-E stands for personal learning and development。 Does your work allow you to engage in learning that enrich your understanding of yourself。

promote your leadership skills， for example， or give you exposure to a more diverse set of people。

and learn about their cultures？ Do you get to go to some classes？ Are you ever in training？

Things that allow you to expand your knowledge set。 So that's basis number one。 Basis number two， E。

and perfect。 Do you have any kind of entrepreneurial control。

any kind of autonomy over the tasks that you do？ Do you get to see a beginning， a middle。

and an end to projects that you have some choice over？ To the extent that people have that autonomy。

they often feel much more energized by their work。

than if they're simply stirring a pot and somebody else is the cook and someone else is the cook。

and someone else is adding ingredients and you don't even know what the final dish is going to be。

You're just a cog in a machine。 So bringing more autonomy， bringing more control。

asking for more decisions that you can make along the way。

can add a lot of a sense of excitement to any job。

P-E-R stands for religious or philosophical values。 Maybe the work you're doing furthers。

a value set that you're excited and motivated by。 You're working in a corporation。

but you find that you're able to assist with some environmental initiative。

that the company is involved in or some community development work they're doing with the local school system。

or some sort of project that has to do with education。

and allows you to take some time and work as a tutor。

So the philosophical and religious values that you hold dear。

if your work gives you a chance to embody those， and to express those。

that can be a very important source of meaning in the word meaningful work。

P-E-R-F stands for family。 The fulfillment that comes from family。

the sense of dignity that comes from providing for a family。

the thriving that happens if you're able to have work that allows you to spend enough time with your family。

and enjoying the children as they grow up and the resources that you're able to bring to create their futures。

So relating your work to your family can help provide an important source of meaning to what you're doing。

P-E-R-F-E， or almost to the end of the word perfect， E stands for expressiveness。

Does your job give you a chance to be self-expressive， to be creative？

It could be even computer coding。 It could be decorating。

It could be control over social events that you're able to create that enlivenes everyone's life in the organization。

or the unit that you work for。 That personal expressiveness and the opportunity to engage in it can be a very deep source of meaning for people。

C， in the last two letters are C and T， perfect。 C stands for community。

Do you have a chance to exercise service in the process of the work you do？ Even in my job。

which is not especially community-oriented， I see my work with students as a service to others。

To the extent that I can counsel them or give them advice on job choices or sometimes they call me or email me。

after they graduate and I can give them a little coaching on a choice they have to make or a decision that they face。

This gives me a profound sense of being of service to others。

I think a lot of jobs give you a chance to mentor as well as interact with people in the community where you work。

that can be very meaningful and very important。 Then the final letter in the word perfect is T。

That stands for talents。 Does your work give you a chance to fully utilize the unique combination of skills。

and aptitudes that you have？ Are you able to be excellent？

Cal Newport， a writer about success， he's a professor at MIT。

actually has a whole theory about success， that basically says don't follow your passions。

follow your talents。 I think people who are able to exercise their talents， grow in their talents。

excel in the things they do well， to become even better， even world class at what they do。

That can be a deep source of very satisfying and fulfilling work knowing that you're the best。

So each of these seven emotional sparks can inspire you。

How many of them might be activated at any given time？ Probably not all of them。

But it's a good checklist to think as far as your work is concerned or the work that you're aspiring to。

How many of these seven items might be possible to explore， to craft your job， to expand on。

and to make that working life something that also brings happiness and fulfillment。 [ Silence ]。

沃顿商学院《实现个人和职业成功（成功、沟通能力、影响力）｜Achieving Personal and Professional Success》中英字幕 - P26：25_智慧天使.zh_en - GPT中英字幕课程资源 - BV1VH4y1J7Zk

We're coming near the end of our time together and I want to share a story with you about。

someone who I think I would give an A to on their answer to this question "What is success？"。

So I was sitting in a Wharton conference room attending a seminar on happiness and relative。

income throughout the world and someone had done a country-wide study across different。

national boundaries， Nigeria， Bhutan， India， America， Denmark， Germany and doing correlational。

studies between overall happiness， the kind you measure by thinking you ask yourself。

overall how happy are you and wealth in that country and income。

It's a pretty complicated social science study and I was in there with about 15 faculty from。

across the university and before the seminar started and there was a presenter who was。

getting ready to show his data， the door opened and this older gentleman walked in who obviously。

looked to me as if he had been working on the campus on some construction project and had。

heard that there was a seminar being offered on happiness and we have a tradition here at。

the University of Pennsylvania that the members of the public are welcome to attend any seminar。

that is available and so seeing members of the public come in is not a crazy thing。

It's always some we always sort of wonder you know what it is that this person might take。

away or what they might say when they got there or not sure if they're not part of our， tribe。

the academic tribe what to make of them but here comes this gentleman and he ended。

up sitting down at the end of the table next to me and I could see from his hands because。

his hands were on the table and resting on the table that they were definitely working， man's hands。

They were sort of calloused and he was wearing like a flannel shirt and blue jeans and sort。

of a rough human face and so you know I just turned my attention back to the presentation。

and the scholar who's giving the research paper you know talked about the data here and the。

wealth levels there and the answers to the questionnaires and how happiness and wealth。

may or may not be correlated and then he concluded and he asked for questions and someone asked。

a question about the you know regression analysis that was used on this data set and there was。

some discussion and then this guy sitting next to me raised his hand。

Now you know as I said when a member of the public shows up at one of these seminars and。

actually speaks the rest of the faculty kind of hold their breath because it's hard to。

know exactly what they might be saying or where they're coming from。

So there was this sort of holding of the breath as this guy raised his hand and the presenter。

said yes sir。 And he said something I'll never forget he said you know I'm just a member of the public。

and I don't really understand a lot of what it is you're talking about here but it does。

seem to me you're talking about happiness and money and he said as far as I can understand。

it happiness and money have really nothing whatsoever to do with each other。

He says as far as I know happiness is just three things good health meaningful work and。

love if you have those three things you're happy。 Now at this point there was this dead silence in the seminar room because nobody knew what。

to say and the presenter said well thank you sir and there was a pause and then someone。

else said what about that data in the Denmark sample that you were studying and someone。

else made a comment and then the conversation just rolled over this guy's comment like a。

wave on the beach that just sort of flattens all the sand and covers it back up so that。

you didn't even know there was a sand castle there。

And this guy waited for a few minutes and the discussion drifted off and then he just。

sort of quietly got up and walked out the door and I thought to myself Wharton has just。

been visited by a wise angel God has sent an angel to reveal to us the secret of life。

and nobody listened but I remembered it and I give this guy a lot of credit because you。

know he said it was his theory of happiness but in many ways it was a theory about success。

because it combined the inner life good health love with the outer life meaningful work and。

had it in a package it was very easy to understand and it was quite clear that this guy had learned。

this through some very very important life lessons that had taught him the truth of it。

Now I don't know if he's right for you。 I think you can have good health and bad health and sometimes you have no control over that。

and just because your health turns bad doesn't mean that you're not happy or can't be successful。

and you can have love in your life and it can disappear you can lose a loved one and that's。

not anything you control either and just because the love in your life has changed and its。

amount of quality doesn't mean that you can't be happy ever again or successful。

He was the first one who used the phrase meaningful work for me and we just finished talking about。

that so I took his phrase and explored it in the context of this research on jobs and。

careers and colleagues so he taught me something very important about how to think about work。

but even if your work isn't exactly the most meaningful work in the world it still could。

be that you're doing something that you're good at and that allows you to support your。

family and the real passion and interest and excitement in your life comes from the coaching。

that you do on the weekends for your kid's soccer team or from a hobby that you have a studying。

you know reenactments of the civil war or your gardener and love to work in the public garden。

down the street so even meaningful work is not a final test of whether you're successful or not。

but I give this guy credit because he thought it through and he had his own values he had his own。

conclusions he had his own aspirations and he could articulate them in a really simple way that。

I credited him a great deal as being a truly wise person and that's why I call him the wise angel。

and so that's my final challenge to you in your journey towards success and that is this see if。

you can come up with your own definition of what this word success means what are the components。

what are the elements what are the goals and aspirations that you package together to make into。

the journey that you want to take the way you want to travel on that journey and if you can do that。

and bear in mind it may not be the same today or 25 years from now life happens we change our。

definitions of what we think success means but it's a well worth the effort to put that down as a。

task to summarize for yourself your own theory of success and how you plan to achieve it that is by。

the way the final paper that I always assign my students at the end of our success course。

what is my personal theory of success and how do I plan to achieve it and we recognize that。

this paper is just a snapshot of a moment in time when the students have given it some thought。

they articulate their thoughts and my goal for them is not to commit them to some path it's really。

to give them a photo of their thinking at a given point in time and then 10 years down the road。

I feel I've succeeded if that paper for them is something they can reread and reread with interest。

and profit and think to themselves hmm that's what I was thinking at that stage of my life about。

what success meant and how I would achieve it and I now see the nuances that I didn't see then or I。

now see that I may have actually drifted from the path and I should go back to the path that I had。

sketched out for myself and I need to remind myself of that better self that wrote that paper。

there are all kinds of ways that these little moments where you actually crystallize in thinking。

can be useful much later in life。 [BLANK_AUDIO]。

沃顿商学院《实现个人和职业成功（成功、沟通能力、影响力）｜Achieving Personal and Professional Success》中英字幕 - P27：26_总结.zh_en - GPT中英字幕课程资源 - BV1VH4y1J7Zk

I have a wrap up that I want to offer you now， a conclusion to our work together。

And it comes from the course， it comes from the final day and the final class and something。

that we do in the class。 So we work for 14 weeks throughout the semester with all the different exercises that you've。

done and a lot more sort of esoteric readings from this and that literature that we haven't。

bothered you with。 But in the final class， what I ask everybody to do is bring there one favorite quote that。

is from a source that they've read or a favorite book that they've seen or a poem or a play。

or a musical or a song and bring that final quote that embodies something about their。

theory of success and read it to the rest of the class and talk about why it's important， to them。

What is the emblem that they want to take with them from that quote and why is it signify。

something about success for them。 So I'm going to share three quotes to bring our class to an end。

But I want you to think of what quote you would bring to the final class and share that。

with your family， with your friends as a sort of banner that you would march under as far。

as your theory of success is concerned。 And I think you'll find that meaningful when you put it together with a lot of the other。

work we've done。 You'll have your own answers to the six lives exercise which we did in the first set of。

exercises and sessions that we worked on。 You'll have your own four diamonds that we assembled that are your interests and your。

capabilities and your experiences that all come together that are your unique story。

You'll have your own sense of what aspects of meaningful work， what aspects of happiness。

and achievement mean the most to you and how you understand them and value them。

And then you'll have a metaphor that you can bring to bear that is this kind of an emblem。

and an image and a picture that helps you think about what success is whether it's a。

tree or a compass or a pond or a ladder or a race。

So all these together can make up a little success book for yourself and write your own。

success book。 That's just your success book， not the how to succeed book that is supposed to work for。

everyone。 I think if you do that our work together is maybe to use a pregnant word been successful。

So here are the three quotes I want to give you。 The first one relates to achievement。

It's one of my favorites。 I'm a big fan of a Chinese book of wisdom which is called the eching。

You can find it in most bookstores and you can order it online。

It's basically a book of 64 chapters and you throw stones or coins。

They arrange themselves in a certain way and then it directs your attention to one of。

the 64 chapters。 You read it and then that helps you answer a question that you ask when you through the。

coins。 And in one of the chapters the following quote I think has a lot to do with how you actually。

zero in on that achievement part that we talked about。 And this is the quote。

It is only when we have the courage to face things exactly as they are without any self。

deception or illusion that a light will develop out of events by which the path to success。

may be recognized。 I think this is a really important quote because it tells you that your achievement skills。

are not things that are outside yourself。 Your achievement skills are things that are already latent or developed inside yourself。

Your problem is to face your aptitudes， your skills exactly as they are without any self。

deception or illusion and focus on those things that you do well。

And stop dreaming about the things that you may want to be an NBA star but the chances。

of that are pretty remote。 So focus on the things you actually do well in the combination that gives you a unique。

value proposition。 And once you're able to get that clarity on what you do and put together the set of things。

that you do the achievement part of your success in life will just accelerate。

It will explode because that's when you're offering a unique value proposition which when。

it finds the right context just takes off like a rocket。

So clarity and courage to see things exactly as they are。

The reason I think this quote is really powerful。 My second quote concerns happiness。

A Roman philosopher once said everything you need to be happy is simple。

This is a truth that's really easy to lose sight of。 In our quest for happiness we want more。

more variety， more experience， more exotic， more， choices， more of everything。

And the truth about happiness， momentary happiness， overall happiness， deep happiness is that。

they are just a part of the human experience。 And it's very likely that the deepest happiness you'll ever feel will be accidental。

You'll spend a night sleepless night in a hotel in Florida on a business trip。

You'll be tossing and turning worried about your family and the fact that you're not with， them。

You'll be worried about the presentation you'll be making the next day。 Your mind is restless。

You give up， surrender to the fact that you can't sleep。 Walk outside， out to the beach。

It just happens that as you're walking down the beach， the dawn breaks。

The sun just tips its little disc edge over the edge of the sea。

The sky suddenly goes from dark to an gorgeous pink and purple。 Bird flies by。

you see a fish jump just off the shore， and you're just captured by a moment。

of complete awe at your place in the nature of things。

And you're struck dumb with the profound connection that you have between your life。

and the life all around you。 And that's not complicated。

That's just being in that present moment where life is happening。

And I think the more you can open yourself to the simplicity of happiness， the more you。

can get to the pace of your perceptions and the rhythms of the life around you， the more。

likely you are to experience more of this very， very important aspect of success， that。

inner sense of joy and deep happiness。 And then the final quote is not about achievement and it's not about happiness。

The final quote is about how to think about achievement and happiness and success， which。

is what we've been working on for this entire course。 And it comes from Plato。 Plato's teacher。

of course， was named Socrates and Plato wrote the dialogues and the beginnings。

of Western philosophy。 And in the last few books that describe Socrates' life。

he was a philosopher in Athens。 He was a pretty unpopular guy。

He was actually put on trial for contaminating the ideas of the youth of Athens and for corrupting。

the miners by making them think too much， which was something that the elders of the city objected。

to。 And he lost his trial by a few votes and was sentenced to death and had to drink the hemlock。

and died basically for the cause of being a thoughtful person。

The reason we remember Socrates is because he took his ideas and gave them the meaning。

of his entire life。 And one of the things he said in the last days of his life was something that I think。

I tried to embody in my teaching that the course that we've just gone through tries， to represent。

it's a process and a focus。 And what Socrates said is this， the unexamined life is not worth living。

What he means I think is that if you go through life not examining the cultural values that。

you were endowed with， not examining the family influences that have shaped you， not examining。

the social forces of conformity or social pressures that have shaped you and put you in different。

places with different thoughts， just an unexamined life of essentially an automatic life， not。

based on your own thoughts but just on the assimilation of all the swirling thoughts that。

you happen to have been born into。 I'm not sure that's really worth the effort。

And everything that we've talked about here has pointed you towards self-examination as。

the actual method by which you can discover your true achievement capabilities， discover。

your true success values， discover what happiness actually means to you and all the answers to。

those things are not found on a television， in a computer or in a book。

They're all going to be found in your heart。 And that is what I think Socrates meant。

That's why this is one of my favorite quotes of all time for success and it's the one that。

I want to conclude with as my gift to you in our final class。

And I hope that you'll be sharing some of yours with your friends， colleagues and family。

So we've gotten to the end。 It's been great to be with you。

I felt like I've visited with you here in the office， the very same office where my。

students come for office hours， where they share with me difficult problems and conflicts。

and choices that they have to make。 And we just talk it out。 Of course。

my way of approaching that is not to try to answer the questions that they。

ask by giving them advice but by asking them what they think the answers might be。

And it's amazing how often if someone will just ask you what you think and what's the。

other side of that and have you considered this， how often they talk themselves into。

getting the choice exactly right for themselves。 And I hope that this course will help you get your choices exactly right for yourself。

It's been a pleasure to share this with you。 I look forward to hearing different adventures as our course goes out and we get feedback。

loops that go on between the people who take it and hear it warden， those of us who make。

these courses。 Thank you for joining me。 Good luck and I hope you have every success。 [BLANK_AUDIO]。

沃顿商学院《实现个人和职业成功（成功、沟通能力、影响力）｜Achieving Personal and Professional Success》中英字幕 - P28：0_简介.zh_en - GPT中英字幕课程资源 - BV1VH4y1J7Zk

Hi， I'm Marie Schweitzer， Professor at the Wharton School。

I teach negotiations and advanced negotiations， and my research interests are in trust， deception。

and emotions。 I'm a co-author of "Friend and Foe，" and I'm interested in the topics we'll be talking。

about in this course。 The tension between cooperation and competition。

how we navigate our social relationships with， topics like trust， deception， and apologies。

putting those pieces back together。 And I'm interested in communication more generally。

as well as motivation。 We'll talk about goal-setting when it goes in the right direction。

and sometimes when， it gets us into trouble。 Thanks for joining me， and let's get started。

Thanks for watching。 [BLANK_AUDIO]。

沃顿商学院《实现个人和职业成功（成功、沟通能力、影响力）｜Achieving Personal and Professional Success》中英字幕 - P29：1_合作与竞争之间的微妙界限.zh_en - GPT中英字幕课程资源 - BV1VH4y1J7Zk

The line between cooperation and competition is surprisingly thin。

As an example， think about what happens in Thanksgiving。

We have black Friday sales here in the United States that really trigger the holiday season。

and sometimes you see huge crowds， mob stores， in anticipation of a great sale。

So outside of these stores， here's one mob that was mobbing a store。

People often end up in fistfights。 One particularly sad occasion when black Friday really took on a different term was in 2008。

in upstate New York。 There was a crowd of people that had gathered outside of a store。

They were literally chanting， "Tear the doors down， tear the doors down。"。

Eager to get into this store。 Well， the employees had formed a human chain trying to hold the shoppers back and as the。

customers stormed into this store， they literally took the doors off the hinges and they ended。

up trampling Jay Dittmar to death。

Now many of the employees end up scampering up on vending machines trying to get out of， the way。

People were injured and in one case killed。 Now what's ironic here is that the Thanksgiving holiday celebrates cooperation。

We think about the historic cooperation between the early American settlers and the Native。

American Indians。 And here we celebrate this time of family and cooperation and yet we juxtapose this with。

these sales and often a big， mad rush that creates a lot of conflict。

And the ciccation in 2008 and that early photo that I showed you before is not an isolated。

incident。 We routinely see this idea of holiday spirit here， this huffeting post headline。

shootings， cabins and brawls。

And then here in other cases， people actually stealing from each other trying to get the。

best deals。 So what I want to think about is how we navigate this tension。

What pushes us from cooperation to competition or from competition to cooperation。

And this Thanksgiving example， we have the cooperative meal and then this competitive。

dash for these holiday sales。 But I think a more dramatic example of a shift from competition to cooperation is represented。

in the relationship between the United States and Japan。 As we all know。

the conflict in World War II was intense。 Here this is a photo of firebombing in 1941。

We had intense conflict， the United States firebomb 67 Japanese cities in addition to。

dropping two atomic bombs， culminating in 1945。 And the Japanese ultimately surrendered。

So the conflict between the United States and Japan could not have been more intense。

And yet immediately after that conflict， there was a pivot to cooperation。 And General MacArthur。

when they took over in Japan， shifted immediately to cooperation。

made it illegal for any American to strike a Japanese person， even made it illegal for。

Americans to eat Japanese food because there's such a food shortage on Japan， Americans who。

could only eat the American rations。

Now we move forward。 We ended up cooperating， rebuilding factories。

And here you see this cooperation through the 1950s， culminating in this declaration of。

cooperation signed in 1960。 And today you'd be hard pressed to find citizens that are more pro-U。S。

than those in Japan。 So we see this remarkable shift from competition to cooperation。

Now this happens not just on the global stage， not just in terms of shopping malls， but it。

happens in our most intimate relationships within about parenting。 Parenting。

you think you can't be more intimately cooperative with someone other than your partner。

and think about the cooperation that goes into raising a child。 And yet even with raising a child。

there's competition。 There's competition with your spouse of who's going to sleep。

who's going to change or feed， the baby。 And we have competition even within our most intensely cooperative relationships。

So the idea is that we shift between cooperation and competition and we often balance cooperation。

and competition even in our most intense relationships。 Now think about siblings。 So with siblings。

we often think about sibling love。 But at the same time we think about sibling rivalry。

Now here's one example of sibling love。 We think about it with humans。

but it turns out the ground squirrel teaches us something， really important about siblings。

Ground squirrels are actually incredibly altruistic。 When a predator is nearby。

say a bird overhead or another large animal， ground squirrels will。

screech to warn others to get out of the way。 Now by screeching。

they're drawing attention to themselves。 It makes them， it puts them at risk。

it makes them vulnerable to some attack。 As scholars have looked at the volume with which ground squirrels screech。

it turns out， they screech loudest when a predator is near their sibling。

So we see sibling love even among ground squirrels。

And so we have this incredible relationship with our siblings。

And yet sibling rivalry can be incredibly intense。

These are our closest friends and also sometimes our closest rivals as we compete for things。

like parental attention and investment。 For twins， it starts particularly early， even in the womb。

twins start competing for， resources。 Now more generally we think about collaborating at work。

We need to collaborate with our colleagues at work to accomplish joint goals。

But then we're also competing for things like recognition， promotion and raises。

So both at home and at work， we're both cooperating and competing and we need to figure out how。

manage this tension and navigate this balance。

So the idea is that we're competing and cooperating all the time and often within the same relationships。

at the same time。 [BLANK_AUDIO]。

沃顿商学院《实现个人和职业成功（成功、沟通能力、影响力）｜Achieving Personal and Professional Success》中英字幕 - P30：2_合作与竞争的三大原则.zh_en - GPT中英字幕课程资源 - BV1VH4y1J7Zk

I want to think about three principles that cause us to shift between cooperation and competition。

They transform us from friends to foes and back again。

So we think about the interplay of these three principles。

The first principle is scarcity。 The resources in our environment can either be scarce or plentiful and that's what drives。

us from friend to foe。 We think about scarcity and this is exactly what happened in Thanksgiving。

So Thanksgiving with this feast we have abundant resources and we're celebrating a cooperative。

event。 But then we go out into the marketplace and these scarce deals cause us to compete fiercely。

for these scarce resources of low price TVs and other things。

Now we see scarcity not just in humans shifting up to cooperation and competition but in studies。

of animals we see the same thing。 A study of Grevy Zebra's found that the zebras actually behave differently as a function。

of how much water was available in their environment。

When water was abundant they formed one type of collectives and when water was scarce they。

formed a very different kind of collective。 That is their social relationships shifted dramatically as a function of how scarce this。

very precious water resource was。

Now the second principle is how social we are。 We're inherently social beings。

The crave companionship in fact one of the worst forms of punishment is solitary confinement。

After just a few days the human mind begins to decay in solitary confinement。

People experience hallucinations， spasms of anger， malaise and apathy。

We both crave human contact after being in solitary confinement and we're also unfit， for it。

The human mind needs to be socially connected。

The third principle is dynamic instability。 The world around us is stochastic， it changes。

it's unstable。 Just like the stock market things are shifting all around us and we need to quickly change。

and pivot between cooperation and competition。

So this unstable and dynamic world as we learn new information we try to gather new information。

it causes us to both cooperate and compete。

And it's really the interplay between these three principles。 Scarcity。

the sociability and dynamic instability that causes to pivot back and forth between。

cooperation and competition and sometimes we're engaging in both at the same time and。

we need to find our balance as both competitors and collaborators。

[BLANK_AUDIO]。

沃顿商学院《实现个人和职业成功（成功、沟通能力、影响力）｜Achieving Personal and Professional Success》中英字幕 - P31：3_比较的机制.zh_en - GPT中英字幕课程资源 - BV1VH4y1J7Zk

What do you want to talk about next are comparisons。

And our breakdown， the mechanics of the comparisons that we make， and argue that they're very。

fundamental force in our lives。 They help us understand some interesting puzzles。 Here's one。

Why are twins separated at birth often so similar？ Nick， Tom Peterson， and Steve Tazumi。

they were twins separated at birth。 The two grew up in completely different households。

different religions， different schooling， and， yet when they got together。

they were shocked at how similar they were。 One owned a bodybuilding gym and was a complete fitness addict。

The other owned a bodybuilding gym and was totally into fitness。 And when they got together。

they said， "Oh， we connected from the first time we met because， we're so much alike。"。

I want to think about that question。 That is， why might twins separated at birth end up being so similar？

Here's a second puzzle。 Why do expectant fathers gain weight when there's no biological reason for them to gain。

weight？ By understanding the comparison process， we could gain insight into these puzzles。

Now here's the first key idea。 The comparisons we make help us make sense of our world。

They help us understand if we went on a good vacation， if we're making a good salary， if。

I need to redo my kitchen， if I need to buy a new car， it's comparisons that help us make。

meaning out of all of these different outcomes we have in our lives。

Now here's some other key ideas about comparisons。 First， they're inevitable。

All of us make comparisons。 Now some of us are drawn to check Facebook more often than others。

but all of us are， drawn to make these comparisons and they help us make sense of things。

but they also， drive us to feel better or motivate us or to feel worse。

Now part of how they work are we make comparisons that are sometimes going up。

People who have done better than we have。 People who have nicer apartments， nicer cars。

or comparisons where we look down。 People who might not have accomplished as much as us。

Upward comparisons can inspire us。 They can also make us miserable。

Downward comparisons can make us feel content and satisfied by our less motivating。

Another key idea about comparisons is that we can make them within ourselves and with， other people。

So often the comparisons we make are to somebody else。 So it could be our neighbor。

it could be our brother-in-law， it could be the person that， cubicle next to me。

But we can also make internal comparisons where I think about how I did before or the。

comparison of what I could have done。 So these internal comparisons relative to me or comparisons relative to others。

When are comparisons most intense？ It turns out there are three dimensions that make comparisons more or less impactful。

The first dimension is similarity。 By similarity we're thinking about things like siblings。

And the closest sibling is a twin where we have very intense similarity。 So the more similar we are。

the more these comparisons matter。 And it's not just siblings。 It could be very close friends。

People that we find ourselves similar to in the same cohort。

We might have started in the same class together。 Similarity is really important。

And in fact this similarity helps us understand things like the spread of obesity。

So one reason why expectant fathers gain weight， even though there's no biological reason for。

them to do so， is they're comparing themselves to people right next to them。

And so the husbands and wives are comparing themselves and that comparison impacts motivation。

We can see from these graphs here， first there's some kinds of comparisons that matter most。

Those are comparisons where it's actually both of us see ourselves as friends。

So those are going to be the strongest friendships。

And we're comparing ourselves to the same sex others。 So the more similar the person。

the more impactful that comparison is。 And in fact we see this network that helps explain the spread of obesity through friendships。

through the network， the comparisons that we're making。 We find ourselves motivated。

So when I see everybody else around me reaching for a donut， I figure well， I don't think。

I should eat more donuts， but if everybody else is doing it or if that sort of looks fine， to me。

everybody else in my comparison set is influencing my own assessment of what is。

or isn't acceptable。 Now for some reason reunions can be quite stressful because at reunions we're going back and we're。

engaging in intense comparisons。 So it could be a high school reunion， it could be a family reunion。

There we're going to see people with whom we're likely to make comparisons。

These are people from our same cohort or the same family structure。

They started perhaps in similar circumstances and now we're going to make these comparisons。

because of similarity。 The second dimension is proximity。

So you think about some of the most intense rivalries like the Tar Heels and Blue Devils。

UNC and Duke。 After we're looking at rivalries， these are two schools separated by just nine miles with。

very strong basketball teams and that intense rivalries in part fueled by proximity。

Now proximity is also not just between universities， but it's things like neighbors。

So here in this quote from Borat， we see this intense neighbor comparison where we're thinking。

about going back and forth who has what in their homes until he says， "Oh， great success。

when he finally gets something that his neighbor can't have。"， So here we have the first two。

similarity and proximity。 The third thing that makes comparisons particularly intense is self-relivance。

By self-relivance， I mean something that we care about。

So if I really care about advancing my career， who gets that promotion is self-relevant？

And my neighbor wins a baking competition and I don't consider myself much of a baker that。

lacks self-relivance。 And as a result， that comparison isn't very intense。

So the most intense comparisons are people who are similar like brothers， cubical makes， neighbors。

my brother-in-law， proximity， people who are very close to me physically， and then， self-relivance。

a domain that I really care about。 So if I'm a musician。

I care about winning that musical competition， but if I'm not， then， I care less。

Social comparisons have these characteristics and they influence a few different behaviors。

We've already alluded to some of those so far。 The first is how we collaborate with other people。

So as we learn information， it can change the way we collaborate or compete with others。

We might find that somebody else is making more money than we are that might make collaboration。

harder， or we might find that somebody else has a very different background than we do。

and that might make collaboration easier and mitigate the intense comparisons we might。

otherwise have made。 So comparisons can make us collaborate or compete。

but they can also lead us to retreat altogether。 So sometimes comparisons can be so unpleasant。

We want to exit the situation because we find it so invidious。

[BLANK_AUDIO]。

沃顿商学院《实现个人和职业成功（成功、沟通能力、影响力）｜Achieving Personal and Professional Success》中英字幕 - P32：4_向上比较带来的痛苦.zh_en - GPT中英字幕课程资源 - BV1VH4y1J7Zk

So we've thought about how comparisons can be motivating， but they can also have some。

adverse consequences as well。 And here we want to think about some of the bad in comparisons。

I want to draw on some of the work by Franz Duval， where what he did is he actually studied。

how ketchup and monkeys， very clever monkeys， reacted to unfairness。

He taught these monkeys to use stones for money， where he gave them stones。 Expere would come out。

open up their hands， and receive a stone， and then hand the monkey。

some reward like a slice of cucumber。 It turns out these monkeys would engage in this transaction all day long。

They love cucumbers， and they're happy to hand over the stones。 That is， until they see a neighbor。

a monkey in a cage next to them， getting something， better than a cucumber like a grape。

And here I'll show you a video from one of his studies where two catchment monkeys side。

by side are handing over stones， one's getting a cucumber， the other one's getting a grape。

We can see what happens。 [ Silence ]， I want to highlight three things about this video。

The first is how intensely focused the one catchment monkey is， the one who's getting。

the cucumbers， is in looking at what's happening in the cage next door to his neighbor getting。

the grape。 The second is， I want to focus on how upset this catchment monkey is。 And then third。

how this drives this catchment monkey to exit。 That is。

to not even want to engage in this transaction， throwing the cucumber and not。

wanting to participate where the stone now no longer becomes worth a cucumber。

And it's all relative。 That is， it's because some other catchment monkey is getting a better deal that this original。

deal that seemed fine is no longer okay。 And it's not just monkeys。

I want to argue that we're hardwired to make these comparisons。

and these comparisons really influence us。 So if we take us to Scott Crabtree。

here's somebody who's working for a tech firm， was， perfectly happy with his job， felt motivated。

inspired by it， until they had to go out to， the market， they recruited a new hotshot employee。

This new employee came in at almost the same salary that he had taken years to develop。

And all of a sudden his work became irritating and he got upset about it。 He was so upset。

He actually ended up quitting。 He joined a different firm where he became the chief happiness officer。

So just as a catchment monkey， Scott Crabtree， when he realized that somebody else was getting。

a deal that seemed better than his， a younger person with almost the same salary， he ended。

up quitting and leaving and trying to find happiness somewhere else。 Now it's not just individuals。

it happens to groups too。 And here American Airlines years ago were facing very tough financial straights。

They were on the verge of bankruptcy。 They negotiated assidiously with their unions。

the pilots union， the flight attendants， the， bag channellers， the mechanics。

And they got them to agree to incredible concessions。 So unions together， they agreed to 1。

8 billion dollar concessions。 Now at the same time， the executives at American Airlines。

they could have left American Airlines， for other more stable companies and they tried to retain those executives and to retain them。

they were giving them retention bonuses。 Now here's the problem。

They'd offered them $41 million in retention bonuses。

There was an SEC filing deadline and this information became public。

So just after the unions had agreed to steep concessions， they learned that the executive。

team was going to end up with these retention bonuses。 Well you can imagine。

just like the catchment monkeys， they became furious。

So the concessions were acceptable until they found out that somebody else was getting paid。

a bonus。 And the first thing they did was they fired their negotiator。

they withdrew these concessions， that he'd go back to the drawing table to try to negotiate。

So here's the question， is a stonewort the cucumber？ Are 1。

8 billion dollars in concessions reasonable？ Am I getting paid a fair salary？

And for all of these questions， the answer is well， it depends。

And we have comparisons that inform our answers。 Now let's go to the United Kingdom and I think about two brothers。

David and Ed Miliband。 These are two brothers， they grew up together and they both were members of parliament in。

the United Kingdom。 And when Gordon Brown stepped down as the head of a Labour Party。

they were both vying， for leadership。 The older brother David first announced that he was going to run for leadership。

Frank by 15 members of parliament， he announced his candidacy and he seemed like the odds。

on favorite。 There were several other candidates that also threw their hats in the ring in addition to。

David and Ed。 But these were the two primary contenders。 And as the voting went on。

David had a slight edge。 So in the first round， David was beating out Ed。 In the second round。

the same。 And the third round， the same。 But the gap became a bit narrower。 Now to win。

you need an outright majority， you need more than 50 percent and that's exactly。

what happened in the fourth round， just the two of them and now all of a sudden， Ed wins。

Now two things about this。 One， it's a very narrow margin of victory and the counterfactual of something else happening。

is quite salient。 And two， these are brothers and worse for David， it's the younger brother。

Now what happens is they end up， their relationship ends up fracturing and David talks about the。

permanent， the permanent， invidious comparison made professional life impossible。

He not only leaves parliament， he actually leaves the United Kingdom， he leaves to work。

in a nonprofit in New York。

So here this comparison is driving him crazy。 Now for similar reasons， we can think about twins。

Now one idea is you think， well what's an artificial twin？

An artificial twin is adopting someone that's similar in age to a biological son or daughter。

Now what would be great about it is you have a built-in playmate。 There's an economies of scale。

there's one carpool。 You have one school， you can have one soccer drop off。 It could be great。

And yet adoption experts， Sam will join later， argues against the corrosive social comparisons。

that are created by artificial twins。 That is by doing this， there's always going to be some twin。

one of those twins that's， going to be out ahead of the other。

There could be developmental differences and that constant comparison is going to make。

artificial twins really toxic。 And so many agencies not only counsel but almost prohibit the adoption of artificial。

twins。 Now let's think about something else。 Let's think about doing better but feeling worse。

How could that happen？ Now again， it's going to be comparisons that help us unlock this puzzle。

Let's think about Abel Kiviat。 He was a silver medalist in 1912。

And this Olympics， the first Olympics where they used a photo finish to determine who had， won。

And by a tenth of a second， he came in second。 This was 1912。

Now here's an interview he gave in 1990， almost 80 years later， he talks about waking up， thinking。

what the heck happened。 He's languishing and the intense counterfactual of had he only run just a bit faster。

he could。

have come in first。 It turns out that this intense feeling is not just unique to Abel。

It's actually incredibly prominent where you see silver medalists chronically express。

dissatisfaction。 A couple of academic articles have studied this。 In terms of this。

the silver medalists， where you have silver medalists who look downright， distraught。

really unhappy。 And in fact， by contrast， you see bronze medalists who end up looking much happier than their。

silver medal counterparts。 So in this study， almost all the gold medalists are smiling。

but the bronze medalists are， smiling a little bit less often。 But in these studies。

none of the silver medalists were smiling。 If you think about these comparisons。

the silver medalists， like Abel， are comparing， themselves to the gold medalists。

That would have been a lot better。 When you compare silver to bronze， they're kind of similar。

But the bronze medalists， if silver is kind of close， that's not a very big upper comparison。

But to fourth place， that's a chasm。 There you're just an athlete， not a medalist。

And so the bronze medalists are delighted to have escaped that other fate。

So we see this doing better but feeling worse phenomenon in these medalists where silver。

medalists are often downright miserable。

So here we can think about this important lesson where comparisons can drive us， they can motivate。

us， but they can also make us perfectly miserable。 [BLANK_AUDIO]。

沃顿商学院《实现个人和职业成功（成功、沟通能力、影响力）｜Achieving Personal and Professional Success》中英字幕 - P33：5_比较与动机.zh_en - GPT中英字幕课程资源 - BV1VH4y1J7Zk

I want to think about some of the consequences of comparisons。

And here I want to focus on the way comparisons can actually lead to very good outcomes and。

I want to focus on the link between comparisons and motivation。

So here's one of the things that can be very good and constructive about comparisons。

Now start off with a story about a Duke Michigan game。 Duke was down by one point at half time。

You can imagine what happened in that locker room。

You can think about the motivational speech the coach might have given them。

Duke came out roaring in the second half。 They exploded and what had been a really intense close game became a blowout。

It turns out it wasn't unique to this Duke Michigan game。 It turns out that if we looked at 18。

000 NBA games， which Jonah Berger and， Denovent Pope did， they analyzed over 18，000 games and。

they found a discontinuity where teams down by one point at the half were actually。

more likely to win。 And that is in general if one team is winning by a lot。

they're likely to win the game。 So if you're ahead at the half time。

it generally helps predict who wins at the end of， the game。

except for if you're down by just a very little bit。 Because when you're down by a very little bit。

you're motivated by that comparison and that motivates you。

it increases effort and people down by one at half time are actually more likely to win。

Now， here we find that it's not just in sports， we can see this on the global stage。

we think about the space race。 Now if we're to go back in the space race。

we're to go back to the 1950s。 And in July 1955， Eisenhower came out and said。

the United States will launch a science satellite to orbit Earth。 That was his goal。

He came out with that goal and then was surprised when the US wasn't the first。

to launch a satellite， but the Russians were。 We were in a space race with the Russians and Russians launched Sputnik and。

that Sputnik crisis has actually carried forward for decades。

And we still invoke Sputnik to think about how we're falling behind and need to catch up。

So here the US felt like they were behind and needed to catch up。

And it motivated an incredible government action。 So we had the National Defense Education Act。

it led to scholarships， Narpa， NASA， we invested an incredible amount of money。

The NASA budget alone took off。 You see this budget growing incredibly。

where at the time it was $6 billion， today that would be $32 billion。 So in the 1960s。

we were spending a huge fraction of the national budget just on a space budget。

If I were to ask， what's the right amount to spend， it's hard to tell。

But we knew that we were falling behind and in that comparison。

by comparison we were down relative to the Russians。

they had launched Sputnik to orbit Earth before we did。

And that motivated us because of that comparison。 And it challenged us in a motor race to accomplish great things。

So we can think about if we were to recast this one small step for man。

but it turns out to be one giant leap， not just for mankind， but for America over the Soviets。

Now， social comparisons matter in a lot of cases， but no more so than in rivals。

Rivals are special comparisons。 Rivals are people with whom we have an extra psychological rivalry。

We get a benefit from beating a rival in a way we don't with anybody else。 And in fact。

Gavin Kildoff has studied rivals in running races， analyzed lots and lots of rivalries。

and found that runners run faster， when they have a rival in that race。

So if you're racing against a close rival， you're likely to get a better time。

It's not just runners， we find this in many different contexts。 And here。

for those of you that are big basketball fans， you'll remember the Larry Bird Magic Johnson rivalry。

And here， Larry Bird said， the first thing I would do every morning。

was look at the box scores to what Magic did。 I didn't care about anything else。

This is intense focus， intense focus on a rival。 So here， we can see and think about motivation。

And I already alluded to the Tar Heels and Blue Devils before。

These are rivals that are in close proximity to each other。

Both of them have won national championships。 And to win a national championship。

you need a lot of things。 You need good coaching。 You need great players。

You also need a lot of motivation。 And what you see is here in '92， Duke wins in '93， UNC wins。

Now that would be remarkable if it happened once。 But then you see the reverse happening in 2009。

UNC wins， and then Duke wins the following year。 So here， we can see rivals motivated。

highly motivated by each other。 Now， it happens in all kinds of relationships。

If you look at sisters， a study of sisters where one's in the labor force and one stays， at home。

one of the things that drives whether or not one of these women works outside the。

home is how much their husbands make。 And we find that if the husband earns less than the sister's husband。

that household income， seems like it's not enough。

and that woman is motivated to work outside the home。 Interestingly。

it's not the absolute amount of money that matters。

It's the relative amount that really matters。 So here's the broad idea。 That is。

comparisons can motivate us。 And in many cases， it can be very constructive motivation。

But when you think about it in check， that is not all that motivation is good。

And we'll think about some of that next。 [BLANK_AUDIO]。

沃顿商学院《实现个人和职业成功（成功、沟通能力、影响力）｜Achieving Personal and Professional Success》中英字幕 - P34：6_比较与作弊.zh_en - GPT中英字幕课程资源 - BV1VH4y1J7Zk

It turns out that comparisons can only make us miserable。

They can also motivate us to engage in behavior we really shouldn't be engaging in。

Let's think about two skaters， Nancy Kerrigan， who in 1992 was the Olympic bronze medalist。

and Tanya Harding， the only American to have ever landed a triple axel in competition。

The two arrivals competing for spots in the US Olympic team。

They both trained incredibly hard and yet something terrible happened。

It was termed the whack heard round the world。 A man came up and after practice came up to Nancy Kerrigan and with a pole whack turny。

growing out of practice for weeks。 It turns out it wasn't just anybody。

It was somebody that Tanya Harding had hired to take out Nancy Kerrigan。

So not only were they competing by working extra hard， they're also competing by trying。

to pull somebody else down and comparisons can motivate unethical behavior。

Let's talk about a different rivalry。 This is a rivalry between Virgin and British Airways。

where British Airways invested heavily。 They supported the London Eye and then Branson paid to have a blimp fly over London with。

the words be a can't get it up。 Taunting British Airways。

This rivalry ended up spilling over not just to trash talking and constructive competition。

but it ended up British Airways was hacking into Virgin System， looking at their reservations。

engaging in unethical practices to try to steal customers away in a way that ended up。

getting them in real trouble。 Now it happens broadly that is in a study of professional soccer rivalries that Adam。

Galinsky and others have done。 They found that in analyzing matches and these are matches between soccer teams playing。

in other cities as well as co-located cities that is teams that are both have home teams。

in that match。 Those are likely to be the most intense rivals because of the co-location and there they found。

more yellow and red cards a measure of unethical behavior。

Here's another example and this involves something a little bit closer to my heart， academics。

Academics we try to publish articles， but the publication process takes a long time。

In the meantime we can upload our articles onto the web and there are websites that track。

how many times articles have been downloaded。 When articles have been downloaded a lot of times it means or suggests that articles。

really important and in fact a lot of our peers look to see how often articles have been。

downloaded to see if that's something we should be reading， something we should be paying。

attention to and we use as a measure of what's important。

It turns out the one really funny thing about that as a measure of importance is that sometimes。

you can manipulate these numbers。 You can for example download your own article and in fact some faculty have even written。

programs to download their own article。 Now who would do that？

Well it turns out comparisons help us understand that。

So when you have peers who have high download counts that's actually an important factor。

in determining how tempted and how likely you might be to download your own article。

And there are also some reference points and goals that matter too if you're close to reaching。

the top 10 that also is more likely to push people to engage in this kind of behavior。

We can think about this more broadly。 So this is a story about Rhonda。

She was selected from a pool of people in her company who seemed to have great promise。

and she was selected by a manager to take additional classes， develop her computer skills。

she was being groomed for promotion。 Now this is exactly what companies should be doing that is we should be looking to look。

at the people who have promise and we should develop them for promotion。

But there's a comparison problem and here's that problem that is her coworkers looking。

around are engaging in comparisons and they're engaging in comparisons they don't like。

She began ostracizing her， not inviting her to parties， not passing on messages to her。

So her work was suffering and here as a result it becomes more difficult for Rhonda to succeed。

and it's also less pleasant for Rhonda。 It's like being the employee of the month that nobody wants to talk to and here in some。

cases it could be people like Rhonda to take their foot off the gas and end up investing。

less effort because they don't want to be that teacher's pet that employee of the month。

or that selected employee。 So when you think about how some of these comparison processes can actually erode the。

very behaviors we're actually looking to accomplish。

Now this tells us that comparisons can make us not just miserable but they can also increase。

cheating。 [BLANK_AUDIO]。

沃顿商学院《实现个人和职业成功（成功、沟通能力、影响力）｜Achieving Personal and Professional Success》中英字幕 - P35：7_找到比较的平衡点.zh_en - GPT中英字幕课程资源 - BV1VH4y1J7Zk

So we've thought about some of the mechanics of comparisons， some of the good in comparisons。

and some of the bad in comparisons。 So the question I want to think about now is how do we find the right balance？

So we know that comparisons can motivate us and that can be very constructive， but they。

can also create resentment and make us perfectly miserable。 How do we find that balance？

We want to be motivated but satisfied。

And here are some key rules。 One， we want to think about favorable comparisons。

that is comparisons where we look down at， people that haven't accomplished quite as much。

We can do this， for example， by volunteering or helping out people in need。 By doing that。

it will make us happier。 So one way to make ourselves happier is to engage in these downward comparisons。

Another thing to think about is how unfavorable comparisons can motivate us。

So just as we thought about with the Michigan Duke game being down by one at halftime， we。

can be incredibly motivated by these comparisons， or the Sputnik example。

these unfavorable comparisons， can push us to great efforts to new heights。

So favorable comparisons can make us happier。 Unreal ones can motivate us。

but they can both do things that aren't as good， like making， us dissatisfied or less motivated。

We can think about comparisons in the negotiation process where they both motivate us and influence。

how happy we are。 You can think， for example， in negotiation， you might have some targets。

some aspiration， some where you're trying to hit。 And you can think about your reservation price that leads to be willing to accept。

So you have something up high that can motivate us and push us hard and something lower or。

reservation price that can make us in comparison happy。 That is， in a negotiation。

we're not going to get everything we wanted most of the time。

So we're going to fall short of our target and we're likely to get something better than。

our alternative， what our reservation price is， and so we're going to end up somewhere。

in the middle。 Now it depends on what we focus。 If we focus people's attention on targets。

for focus on that target， we're going to be， more motivated but less satisfied。

If we focus on our reservation price， we're going to be less motivated but more satisfied。 In fact。

that's exactly what happened。 So here in this study that Adam Glinsky and his colleagues ran。

people who focused on， targets ended up doing better than people who focused on their alternatives。

their reservation， price， but people who focused on their target were less satisfied than people who focused。

on their reservation。 So here we can think about trying to use comparisons to our advantage。

So during the negotiation process， we like to focus on our targets but then afterwards。

we like to think about our reservation price and that can make us more satisfied。

So we want the benefits of that higher motivation as well as the benefits of feeling more satisfied。

and that can involve shifting our attention。 So that's how we can think about comparisons in negotiations。

But it's not just negotiations， it happens more broadly。 And here's another funny puzzle。

we think about the benefit of graduating in a recession。 Now why should there be a benefit？

If you graduate in a recession， it's actually harder to find a job and if you do find a job。

it's likely to be less highly compensated and actually people who have studied the effects。

of graduate in a recession are long lasting。 So you end up with a lower starting salary and that follows you for a long time。

But what's the benefit？ Well it turns out people who find a job in a recession are actually much happier even。

though they're making up to 15% less。 They're happier because of the comparison。

They're happier because they actually got a job and they realize that many of their peers。

ended up doing less well。 So here we can think about comparisons helping us make sense of a lot of unusual phenomenon。

both in negotiation and in a workplace and more broadly。

Here are three key principles of social comparisons。

I want to think about three key things that help us find our balance。

The first idea is that we want to think about comparisons that go in or out of order。

Now by in or out of order what I mean is is this the expected comparison outcome that。

was anticipated？ So if we're competitors， what do we expect？ If we're siblings who's older？

So we talked about David and Ed Miliband。

David the older brother was bested by his younger brother。 Now in contrast think about the Kennedys。

So here we have the Kennedys where these siblings were going in order。

Where the brothers collaborated because they were helping each other go from one step to。

the next and they went from one step to the next completely in order。

The same is true in tennis。 We think about one of the most dominant sibling pairs in tennis Serena and Venus Williams。

Now more recently Serena has dominated on the tennis scene。

She's eclipsed her bigger sister but things went in order。

It was Venus the older sister that was dominant first and Serena even said that as she was。

growing up everything was about Venus that's how it was supposed to be。

And there when Serena began to win and beat Venus she was going in order and even though。

she now has a much more impressive record that going in order turns out to be very important。

and it's actually enabled them to be incredibly effective as doubles partners。

In fact they have one of the most impressive doubles partners records of all time where。

their record is 21 and 1 in women's doubles finals and they have three Olympic gold medals。

to share。 So going in order is one of the key principles of making comparisons work。

The other key idea is providing opportunities to compete in the future。

So one thing that's particularly painful about say the Olympics is that for many athletes。

this is their one chance。 For able， give it for example he lost out， he'd never won the gold。

It was not in that race and there wasn't another future opportunity for him。

So if we have opportunities to compete in the future those comparisons are going to be。

less intense。 The third key principle is to think about the perspective of other people。

When good things happen to us we often are pretty happy and people will say oh I'm so。

happy for you you really deserve it they might or might not be。

That is they might be privately quite upset but we don't typically get to hear that。

To suggest that these comparisons are really quite intense and it really is a phenomenon。

that travels across culturally quite well。 I want to share Russian parable and as a lot of parables happen there's a man who finds。

a lamp， rubs it， a genie emerges and the genie says you can have any wish you want。

But here's the twist。 In this case the genie says the twist is your neighbor gets double。

So you can have anything you want but your neighbor gets double。 Well the man paces back and forth。

rubs his brow， thinks very deeply and hard about it， and finds it says ah I know what I want。

I want you to poke out one of my eyes。

Here we can see that the comparison process is so intense， it's so invidious that here。

the person is so worried about having something good because the neighbor and comparison will。

do even better。 And so to think about these comparisons it's important even when good things happen to。

us to recognize that others are going to make these comparisons and they might be less。

satisfied at least than they might appear hourly。 [BLANK_AUDIO]。

沃顿商学院《实现个人和职业成功（成功、沟通能力、影响力）｜Achieving Personal and Professional Success》中英字幕 - P36：8_合作的挑战.zh_en - GPT中英字幕课程资源 - BV1VH4y1J7Zk

Next， I want to think about the challenge of cooperation。

How do we get people to cooperate with us even when they might be better off themselves。

if they didn't have to work so hard or didn't have to help us out？ I want to start with a story。

And this is a story about a homicide detective， Marshall Frank。

He's a very experienced detective and he had this one case where he knew Paul Roles was。

guilty。 He knew it but he couldn't prove it and what he really wanted was a confession。

So he sat down with Paul Roles and in this case Roles' neighbor had been strangled and。

Detective Frank was going for this confession。 Now in this interrogation。

what's interesting is that Roles knows that this is the game。

that is he knows the detective wants a confession。 And in 30 minutes。

Detective Frank ended up getting that confession。 So he ended up getting somebody to be cooperative with what he wanted。

He wanted this confession and he did it relatively fast。 And one question I want to ask is how？

And Roles suggests that this really speaks to the idea of cooperation。

How do they get people to step over and help us out do things that we want even when it's。

not in their own best interest？ So it's related to other questions that are very different。

So would you let a complete stranger sleep in your house？

Well generally not but that's exactly what Airbnb is predicated upon。

That is it's a system that allows people to do exactly that。

So we think about how to cooperate in a social dilemma。

A social dilemma is a multi-party prisoner's dilemma。

So the prisoner's in the case is just two people。 But we often have a lot of cases with multiple people。

So we can think about things like how do we work together to reduce car emissions。

We want everyone to smog test their car。 But individually we'd rather not smog test our own car。

Or we think about overfishing。 We'd rather everybody else cut back with fishing。

But individually we'd rather fish as much as we could。

So individually we have incentives to defect or do what's in our own best interest。

But collectively we'd like everybody to come together and do what's best for the collective。

So those are social dilemmas。 How do we solve those？

And we can think about the prisoner's dilemma as the first case。

That is this is the fruit fly of the social dilemma problem。

Now in the classic prisoner's dilemma we have two people。 So you think about to take a Frank's case。

You'd like to get a confession。 And if they confess it's going to be easier for the whole legal process to go forward。

But individually for that potential criminal it's not great for them individually to confess。

Now imagine you've caught two people。 They could tattle on each other and confess or they could not confess。

And here I'm thinking about cooperation with each other。

So imagine these two criminals like to cooperate。 They like to cooperate with each other and not confess。

So if they don't confess then they both end up with a light sentence。

There isn't a lot of evidence they can't be prosecuted for that much。

So they both get a very light sentence。 Say six months。

Now if they both do confess they both get five years。

So clearly they're better off if they both cooperate with each other and don't confess。

Now here's what's interesting。 If one of them defects。

So one of them cooperates with the defense and spills the beans about the whole story。

And the other one doesn't。 Well imagine a detective here who says look I'm going to give you a special deal。

If you spill the beans and another one doesn't you're going to go free but the other person is going to get ten years。

So individually here the person who's facing this problem really has a dilemma。

They could try to do what's best for that group that collective and cooperate。

Or they could defect and do what's best for themselves in which case they end up with a better outcome。

Now in this case they always end up with a better outcome no matter what their counterpart does。

So if their counterpart is going to talk they'd rather talk。

If their counterparts not going to talk they're still better off talking。

So individually they still have this drive to do what's in their best interest。

Their own selfish interest。 But we want to push people to cooperate even though it's costly for them。

So when we think about how do we do that？ How do we get a co-worker to stay late take up an extra assignment？

How do we get our kids to do more chores around the house？

How do we get our spouse to help us out more even when they'd rather hang out on the couch watch TV or do something else。

So we have this constant problem both at working at home to try to get people to cooperate even when they're pulled in the opposite direction with their own self interest。

And we can think about a lot of social dilemmas。 So I talked about greenhouse gases before and overfishing but we want to try to conserve water。

We want everybody to take shorter showers but ourselves we'd like to take that longer shower。

Or contributing to things like public radio but working on a project in many negotiation settings we could share more information which helps to create value but it might be at odds with our own individual interest in trying to claim value。

So we have this tension。 Now as a manager， managers are constantly trying to solve this social dilemma。

They're trying to get people to cooperate when people might naturally be pulled in opposite directions。

Here's some ideas。 Here's things that facilitate cooperation。 First we want to build relationships。

So the more people identify with us the better。 Sociologists call this a shadow of the past。

So if we have team bonding experiences， we have a shared history that'll bind us together and it'll create a sense of we're all in this together。

We have a shared goal here and that shared goal gets people to cooperate more effectively。

It's related to this idea of a shared identity。 So do I see myself as part of this group？

So the names that we call each other。 So are we partners？ Are we employees？ Do I think of myself？

Do I wear low-code clothing that has my company name on it？

Do I see myself as part of this organization？ And the stronger that sense of identity。

the stronger cooperation is。 And then third， sociologists have this term shadow of the future for how likely we are to interact in the future。

So if I know this is a long-term relationship， then helping you out now is a much easier thing to do。

Because I know there's going to be a time in the future that you might help me out as well。

So the longer the future horizon is， the more likely we are to get cooperation。 So the past。

identity， and the shadow of the future。 A couple of other things that are important for cooperation。

One is clear communication。 So can I communicate what I need and why I need it clearly？

And can we figure out a way to collaborate？ So the better the communication。

the more effective the cooperation。 And this is going to mean that face-to-face communication is particularly important。

Face-to-face communication is important for a lot of different reasons that we'll talk about。

But one is it allows the most complete kind of communication we can get。 And the next。

we can think about expectations。 So what expectations do we have in this？

Am I communicating that I really care about my own self-interest？

Or am I communicating we're all in this together？ So people have actually played the Prisoner Dilemma game with experiments for money or other prizes。

And what they found is that when you describe the game as a community game。

people are far more cooperative， than if people describe it as the Wall Street game。

In the Wall Street game， people put on this lens or mentality that they're in it for themselves。

and end up being much more competitive。 So the way we describe things。

the expectations that we set profoundly influence how cooperative people are。

they're trying to figure out what game are we playing and the way we communicate is going to profoundly influence that。

Next， to think about accountability。 So can we observe behavior？ So I talked about saving water。

Now， people are more likely to cut back on watering their lawn because their neighbors can see that。

Taking a shorter shower is harder to observe。 When we can't observe people cooperating or defecting。

people are more likely to defect。 And anonymity hurts cooperation and things like raining systems。

which makes Airbnb effective， help cooperation。 And the more broadly trust。

if we can build a trusting relationship， then we get cooperation。

And we'll say a bit more about trust。 So here are the key ideas。 Shout of the past。

what we've done in the past， a shared identity。 I identify myself with this group。

A shout of the future， this future interaction we're going to have。

Effective and clear communication。 We set expectations for cooperation。 We hold people accountable。

That means we can observe what they do and their repercussions for what they do。

You can think about taxes， for example。 We sometimes audit people's taxes and their penalties for not paying taxes。

It's a way to get people to cooperate for the collective good。

even though individually they'd rather not。 And then trust。 The more trusting our relationships。

the more effective cooperation is。

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