Elements of "How to win friends and influence people"

"How to win friends and influence people" is a book by Dale Carnegie. I have almost finished reading it, and here I list some elements of this book:

Golden key: a deep, driving desire to learn, a vigorous determination to increase your ability to deal with people.
My popularity, my happiness and sense of worth depend to no small extent upon my skill in dealing with people.


Part 1: Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
Don't criticize, condemn or complain. (If you want to gether honey, don't kick over the beehive)
Give honest and sincere appreciation. (The big secret of dealing with people)
Arouse in the other person an eager want. (He who can do this has the whole world with him. He who cannot walks a lonely way)

Part 2: Ways to Make People Like You
Become genuinely interested in other people. (Do this and you'll be welcome anywhere)
Smile. (A simple way to make a good first impression)
Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language. (If you don't do this, you are headed for trouble)
Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves. (An easy way to become a good conversationalist)
Talk in terms of the other person's interests. (How to interest people)
Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely. (How to make people like you instantly)

Part 3: How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking
The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it. (You can't win an argument)
Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say "You're wrong." (A sure way of making enemies - and how to avoid it)
If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically. (If you're wrong, admit it)
Begin in a friendly way. (A drop of honey)
Get the other people saying "yes, yes" immediately. (The secret of Socrates)
Let the other person do a great deal of the talking. (The safety valve in handling complaints)
Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers. (How to get cooperation)
Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view. (A formula that will work wonders for you)
Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires. (What everybody wants)
Appeal to the nobler motives. (An appeal that everybody likes)
Dramatize your ideas. (The movies do it. TV does it. Why don't you do it?)
Throw down a challenge. (When nothing else works, try this)

Part 4: Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment
Begin with praise and honest appreciation. (If you must find fault, this is the way to begin)
Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly. (How to criticize and not be hated for it)
Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person. (Talk about your own mistakes first)
Ask questions instead of giving direct orders. (No one likes to take orders)
Let the other person save face. (Let the other person save face)
Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise." (How to spur people on to success)
Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to. (Give a dog a good name)
Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct. (Make the fault seem easy to correct)
Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest. (Making people glad to do what you want)

posted on 2012-06-21 23:52  J. V. King  阅读(257)  评论(0编辑  收藏  举报

导航